tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52657578422528972042024-03-16T00:08:54.383-07:00It's Always Something...Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.comBlogger437125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-55407083391146045082016-03-04T15:40:00.003-08:002016-03-04T15:40:46.329-08:00IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am not dead. I just have not been able to write, I hope you do not shed many tears.One of these days I will write again.<br />
Till then, I love you all.<br />
Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com91tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-66082557995740641702015-07-04T12:34:00.000-07:002015-07-04T12:34:02.924-07:00I Have Absolutely No Idea What to Call This....Maybe Status Report.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
Oh Fudge! ........remember when we used to curse like that? This is too puny for SPF......I jusgt ewant to let you know I am still here but still embroiled in chaos. I will update this from time to time. Perhaps July will be better. The Handyman comes to start emptying the dreck from the garagel. 43 years of junk going in.......maybe most of it can go out tothe dump. All prayers will be welcome.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-6322785505688074292015-04-25T13:20:00.002-07:002015-04-25T13:20:14.238-07:00Thought For the Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Yeh, yeh......I know...... I'm behind in the rent I havent paid my dues and I owe at lest 7,352 blogs. So sue me.<br />
<br />
This is just bit of a cheat.....I do not have the strength or time today 5to write a proper post, bhut5 I am letting you kow that I qam still rattling round here and will 5try to orgaize my mind to communicate shortly. Menwhile3, I am just pssing along a bit of cheer from Bob Ringwald whose faithful emails....mostly funny.....keep me goint. This is my favorite.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b> </b><br />
<b> INSIDE</b><br />
<br />
<b> EVERY</b><br />
<br />
<b> OLD </b><br />
<br />
<b> PERSON</b><br />
<br />
<b> IS A</b><br />
<br />
<b> YOUNGER</b><br />
<br />
<b> PERSON</b><br />
<br />
<b> WONDERING</b><br />
<br />
<b> WHAT THE</b><br />
<br />
<b> HELL</b><br />
<br />
<b> HAPPENED </b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Love, Lo<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
' </div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com108tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-49288925938446522072015-04-05T15:00:00.003-07:002015-04-05T15:00:42.709-07:00You Asked For It......Lo During the Big War<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><br /></b>
<b>I am only writing this because at least 2 of you clamored for more about my life as an Air RaidWarden Messenger during the big war. I am going to have to expand on that subject a bit to give you the full picture of how it was during t6hos days, months and years.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>I'lll never forget the day of December 7,, 1941 whebn I came home from a Sunday matinede movie and my Mamma told me,with great concern in her face, that we were at War. That war affected the world in many ways, but for me, persohnallt ut was a multi-faceted disaster. </b><br />
<b>Tenks gott, we did not lose any fmily members but moth of my most beloved cousins were in the armyand one, a medic trapped in the Battle of the Bulge had memories and invisible wounds which took a long time to heal.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>A month after Pearly Harbor I found, to my horror, thst we were moving 3000 miles away from family, friends and my beloved Philly to Los </b><br />
<b>Angeles California where we Knew no one and had no one except for a single cousin. It mean being uprooted from my fi4st year of high school with kids I had grown up with to a huge, unfriendly unknown. If I had known the word and not b een so shy and inhibited I would surely have uttered my first "SHITPISSFUCK".</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>However, we will not dwell on ancient horrors......it appear4s that somehow I did survive this death blow and managed to enroll in a new high school (which I hated because everyone was so up[ity and all the girls except me were beautiful.) Had it not been for a bottomless deep crush I developed on the school's greatest footbaall hero I would never have survived till graduation.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>For one thing, early in 1942 when I had scarcely settled into a set at LA High the government decided t6hat all Japanese living in the US were potebntial spies and must be impriioned to protect the U>S from havoc. No ,matter that the large Japanese population here were mostly at least 2nd generation Americans.....they all had to be banished to internment ccamps.....the one I remember was up north and was called Manzanar. The sweet little Japanese girl I sat next to on home room could not meet my eyes anymore and within a month they all disappeared. It felt awful. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Next allsorts of laws were passed requiring blackout curtains on all windows and any sliver of light earned the trqngressor 30 lashes. Periodically strange sirens would wail, being tested to warn us against air raids submarine attacks or genberal invasion. It took while till they got all that stuff organized and wworking decently. I do not think the Japanese had yet figured out how to attck us from the vast distance over the Pacific, but undoubtedly they were working on it.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> Meanwhile, I managed to make 2 friends, both of whom had orniginally been from Philadelphia, but socially High School was not a success. I filled my life with whatever I could gasther.....got a job working after school hand paintintg fancy bottles,the intended use of which I still wonder about from time to time. I had to study hard because the stress rendered me supid and I had a life and death struggle with solid geometry....I don;t know why since I had gotten strasight A's in plane geometry back in Philly.....put it down to more stress.......I lear4rned to bowl and ws the proud achiever of a score of 130 several timnes and in between I fantasied about and dreamed about Bert Schneider, the football hero who did not know3 I existed, but for whom I would run up and back down 4 flights of stairs between English and History in order to see him pass down the hall opposite me but not even seeing me.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Then one day late in 1941, my Mamma asked me if I would be interested in becoming an Air Raid Warden Messenger. One of the tenants in our building hd volunteered to be Warden for our block or section or whatever and . he needed a Messenger to ptrol with him to run messages back to headquarters in the event of an event. I put thoughts of Bert out of my mind anbd said,"Sure". I seem to recall vguely several meeting in which we were supposed to be instructed in our duties, but I cannot recall a single bit of information which was passed to us at those meetings. We received armbands identifying us as offical somethings and flashlights, whistles and an amazing looking Gas Mask (p4robqbl6 left over from WW1) all of which get slung over our shouldersw.....there may have also been a helmet of some sort but I would not swear about that. Then we pr4oceeded to wait for the air raid sirent to summon us to our posts/rounds. I cannot remember how often the air raid tests were run. Of course, when the sirenbs went off we did not5 know if it ws merely a test or if Ja[an ws invading Long Beach. Our ob was to patrol a certain area of the neighborhood and keep our eyes and ears open for any kind of trouble. After the first few times it was really very boring. We were si busy keeping our eyes abd ears open and not alling asleep walking that we rarely exchanges an words much less any conversation. If there was no moon our main preoccupation was in not tripping nd falling down breakibg out flashlight or crushing our gas mask. When the all clear sounded we went home abd took off our equipment and made sure we put it in a safe place where we would remember it when the sirens wailed again. This went on perioliclly for the next 3 years and nothing ever happened to cause me to have to run with an mnessages to Headquarters......wherever the hell that was....I do not remember ever bein told where headquartes actually was tho I guess someone knew.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> I remember vividly the night I screwed up my courage and turned to the Warden as we trod the darkness and said timidly, "What are we really supoosed to do if anything really happens?" He turned to me, looked mesquarely in the eyes and said, "Damned if I know."</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Love , Lo</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>P<s a="" always="" at="" attacked="" b="" barbara="" beenb="" big="" but="" california="" cannot="" coast="" confirm="" danger="" do="" during="" ever="" fired="" for="" hat="" have="" i="" if="" is="" it="" janese="" know="" might="" my="" nbsp="" not="" of="" once.....i="" recall="" rumor="" sant="" seem="" service="" shell="" southern="" submarine="" sums="" sure="" that="" the="" there="" this="" to="" true.="" up="" war.=""></s></b></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-25043413926135364652015-03-28T12:38:00.000-07:002015-03-28T12:51:07.248-07:00And For My Next Number......<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is just a quick note........several of you showed interest in my brief career (?) as an Air Raide Warden Messenger back during the Big War which I entioned ib my lst blog. Actually, I did write blog about it a gzillion years ago.....I do not have the energy nor the wit to search back to find it, so I will attempt to recreate it for those of you young whippersnappers who missed alol that fun(?) in my next post. <br />
<br />
Unless something more exciting happens which needs to be reported.........perish forbid!<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-63513232992593027692015-03-27T13:23:00.001-07:002015-03-27T13:23:31.491-07:00Lo's Latest Adventure<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><br /></b>
<b>So there I was the other night, nestled in my reliner listening to Books on Tape when, suddenly, the whole damned world went away.........the book stopped playing and I was plunged into a darkness blacker than I ever remembered, though perhaps the womb might have been as dark.....I do not really remember that.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Fortunately I knew it was not my failibg visionand had to be an electical failure of cosmic proportions. The almost funny part was that I got up from my chair intendibg to walk over 4 steps to where I had a flashlight, but once having lost physical contact with the chair I did not know which te hell way was up. I groped around cautiously for at least 5 minutes abd did bnot encounter anything and it was the weirdest feeling I have had since .......well, never mind.....it was weird and with each effort to find something solid I b ecame more panicky. Had I suddenly been trabspoted to an unlit closet in the spaceship I am sure is hovering up there somewhere, occasionally shooting strange confusing rays down at me just for laughs? Still groping and wondering where I was I finally, tenks gott, encountered Glass. A few gropes led me to r4ecognize a sliding glass door at the far end of the dining room and I nearly sobbed in elief. At least5 I ws still in my own house, though how I had managed to get to that location without tripping over anything or feeling anything solid is still beyond me. Anyway, I now knew how to feel my way to a flashlight and the world was no longer the depths of a coal mine.</b><br />
<br />
<b>I know they are always telling us to be prepared for emergencies and I have sporadically attempted to do ust that, but after having to dump the tightly covered trash can in my back yard that contained my emergency earthquake supplies because of creepingt mildew and the outdatedness of most of its contents a lot of which was cat food years past its use=by date, I have lost enthusiasm fo such projects. I did remember that I had a brand new hur4icane lamp in the garage and I actually webnt out and found it, pristine in its box with insgtructions I could not read of course, so Igrabbed a few candles, lit them and stuck them onto a plate, made my way to the bedroom and did what any sensible person would do, I went to bed.</b><br />
<br />
<b>Oooops, not true....I forgot that I had gingerly made my way out the fronbt door clutching my flashlight to see if the rest of the neighborhood was also pitch black and encountered a cr3ew fromn the power company making their way downb the street trying to find the source of the outage. They asked permission to go into my back yard to examine the powe pole and line nd I gave thenm carte blanch before staggering back in and going to bed. Contact with a human rather than a creature 3 feet tall with huge eyes did much to reassure me. Fortunate0ly, my Braille reader has a battery life of something like 60 hours so I was even able to create a semblance of normality by listening to a Dave Barry book...was I lucky or what? Thus passed the darkest night since my adventures patrolling the neighborhood as an air raid wardebn messenger during the Big War. Somehow....that was not nearly as dark......dunno why. Pauline and I awoke to a sunny day with appliances either buzzing happily (freezer and frig) and all the others eagerly waiting for me to push their buttons.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>The only small disaster centered around the candles which I HAD blown out but which had puddled more wax than one could imagine might be in a little stub of candle and which had dribbled out of the dish and onto my bedside bookcase, an assortment of old books and, of course, the floor. I figure I got off easy. I only had to reset one clock which was plugged in and was about 4 hours behind.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Oy Gevalt. Too muchexcitement.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Love, Lo</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>PS I have since learned how to operate the hurrican leamp and have ordered 4 more. The Boy Scouts had it right....Be Prepared.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-12275406648680160502015-03-17T12:32:00.002-07:002015-03-17T12:32:39.067-07:00aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh !!! Have I Got a Problem???!!!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<br />
During what I call the Big Blog Disaster one of my beloved readers wrote a comment that tipped me off to an Ebay offering of the vibrat5ing chair cover that I was lamenting the loss of and was so eagerly seekiung. When that blog got clobbered by the cyber devils I had to delete it and, of course, lost thecommentts. Oy.<br />
whicheverr one of you dear souls<br />
Amazingly, in my frantic searches to find a replacement seat cover Ia was led to Amazon and thence to Ebay and managed to buy the one offered there. While I `await its arrival I want to thank the dear soul who tried to help me and let you know that you actually succeeded. A million thanks and please let me know who you are.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-28979228469993383622015-03-12T19:57:00.003-07:002015-03-12T19:57:41.523-07:00APOLOGY<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Horrors! I do not know howa it happened,, but I seem to have published blog that was a working draft containing some undeveloped themes and leaviing out other parts. If I ofended any of you please fo4give me. I will try to repair the damage as soon as I stop screaming and hittibg my head against the wall. Sob.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-4339566431470839092015-03-08T15:33:00.001-07:002015-03-08T15:33:37.345-07:00Ooooops Sorry<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Oh, shitpissfuck.<br />
<br />
I started a blog a week ago ,,,,,,just me, without dragon.....and I was doing fairly well till I got to what was supposed to be the final pargraph and got bogged down in my own rhetoric. So I set it aside till y ind cleared abd have been trying ever since to edit it without success,,,,,the comput6er refuses to obey my commands, pleas, threats and Ihave been afraid I will lose the whole damned thing if I keep meddling on my own so I will wait patiently (?) till Charlotte comes tomorrow to help me out<br />
<br />
Hopefully all will be resolved soon. However, if you hear blood curdlinbg scream echoing thru cyberspace you will know that something is amiss. Don't give up......I am doing the bst I can. And you know how stubborn I am........<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-2170018000372845552015-02-17T12:49:00.002-08:002015-02-17T12:49:15.139-08:00Oy Vey or Hooray,,,,,It All Depends<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It all depends. on how you look at it. <br />
<br />
I am checking in with a very petite, mni-blog just so's you'll know I am still here ranting, raving, griping and complaining and occasionally laughing out loud at how odd life is.<br />
<br />
I saw (in a manner of speaking) my Retinologist the other day and was told that my vision, tho losing some ground, is holding up fairly well considering......considering 3what I am not sure. After all these years of many visits per year he and I have a nice relationship and ofteb discuss deep subjects while he is peering into the deepths of my eyeballs and blinding me even more with some wretched ultra brigh light which turns the whole world magenta afterward. In my usual brashm arrogant fashion I said to him, " Dammit, why in the hell aren't you guys working on a stem cell injection you can poke into my eyeball to restore the retina?" and he looked at me with a combination of surprise and delight and said, "We are working on that very thing." Humph, I grumbled.....you had better hurry.......it'll probably be too late for me." Whereupon he said, "Not at all......we may have something viable by your next appointment." (6 months) At which moment I knocked him to the floor, smotheefred him with kisses and refused to let him up until he promised to put me t the top of the list for testing. <br />
<br />
Of course, that means that once more I face the situation of having to submit monthly or so to a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but I will gladly endure that process (it really sounds much worse than it feels) if it will give me back a smidgeon of sight.<br />
<br />
Well, that is the news from upper Califa St. Incidentally this ws writtenb without benefit of Dragon so all of the typos and errors are my own. Sadly, you are being deprived of Dragon's inimiable humor and I have none of my own to offer today. Don't despair.....maybe next time.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-51446441394327317492015-01-31T18:30:00.003-08:002015-01-31T18:32:38.716-08:00You Are NOT Your Body<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When I was a tiny tot of 4 0r 5 I vividloy recll stding in the kitchen and looking aroun the room and being convinced t6hat I was enclosedd inside an outer thing with 2 eyeholes and I was look out of them there eyehole the world. I felt enclosed bu6t totally separate from my outer container.......my phsical body that is. Ever since, I have felt that my body is merely a vehicle for my essence.....a very ingenious, convenient and useful container for sure, but definitely not ME. Okay, this is when you roll your eyes around and twirl you forefinger at your temple....Lo is over the edge.<br />
<br />
<br />
Not so my deears.......and if you plan to survive old age you damnmed well better grasp the idea I am trying to convey. Otherwise, as your body falls apart first this hhunk, then that one, you will have a lot of trouble maint6ianing you sense of self worth. The good old bod is like a good old beat up car that is still doing its best to get you around and from here to there, sometimes in laughable fashion and sometimes unsucessfully, but5 you are still there in the driver's seat, more or less intact but having to accept and adjust to the loss of functions.<br />
<br />
For years I have been having to tamp down thr rage and disgust that overshelms me when I read a blog on which the writer goes to piieces over a wrinkle or a sagging boob. as if the world were coming to an end over the loss of a crumb of outward apperance. I simply want to screm, <br />
Never mind about the outside shell you idiot, clean up the wretched mess of your real self inside!!"<br />
<br />
The old saw abou6t the body being the temple of the spirit never reallly resonated for me until I recognized that thet were really telling m,e what I had alread figuered out in my mundane way,<br />
<br />
I guess I am writing about this becase I see myself dragging this poor decripit carcass around.....and very cumbersone and inconvenient it is, by the way, b ut this dear old bod has served me well for over 80 years and I am revering it more and more as it becomes less and lesswhat it was. Never mind that the eyes can't find my glasses, that the ears cause me to beg,"Say again, please"and that I wisely reach for my cane and the railing when I attempt a flight of stairs. Hell, I consider that it is amazing that i still doing stairs any which way.<br />
<br />
Do not think that I am accepting all this decreitude quite as gracefully as I have made it seem.......the number of shitpissfucks thqt issue forth from my no longer plump and luscious lips increases daily, and we will not try to count the number of times I scream, "Oh, for crisssake, Lo, look what you've done, or haven't done". <br />
But I am finding it easier to be kinder about it all. As long as the inner pilot light continues to burn blue I will cherish the remarkable structure that I dwell in.<br />
<br />
And the best thing of all about not identifying with the outer covering is that I can go without a bra, boobs for all to notice and not give a damn. Oy, does that feel good!<br />
] <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-57132729797630057182015-01-11T14:16:00.001-08:002015-01-11T14:16:25.264-08:00Where the Hell Have I Been?.....Damned If I know<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sorry, sorry, I AM sorry. I know I have been off the map for ages and I am sure some of you have given up on me.<br />
<br />
I have been struggling with a passel of stuff.......health issues, the loss of my caregiver, Florence, who hs gone on to bigger, better things and the frantic efforts to find a suitable replacement......oy vey....soch a lot of tsouris. (that means Trouble right here in River City.)<br />
<br />
Things are still in bit of a mess, but I have one piece of good news......I have found a wonderful caregiver who is willing and seems to be able to step in and take care of me. I have had another mniracle! Her name is Charlotte. I will tell you more about Charlotte in my next epistle.....today I am only writing this to keep you from scrawling R.I.P across the picture of me you all have by your bedsides.<br />
<br />
This coming week will be daunting, but I hope that things will smooth out after that. \\I hate to keep repeating myself, but MORE LATER.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-91098663417086020132014-12-01T15:15:00.000-08:002014-12-01T15:21:36.092-08:00Dragon and Lo....Together Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Well, here we are… I feel like I'm walking on egg's… No not possessive, plural eggs… I just had to submit to an update which I fear has destroyed all of the precious words that I've taught Dragon in the past. I expect I may have to teach them all again. Sob! I just tried my favorite expletive "ship this spot" and we all know that that isn't correct. I'm afraid to try Michigan the… I better type it…meshugina. Oy vey! How about that it did remember one of the. One of them. We will find out as we go along which lessens need to be repeated… Not that kind of lessons now you've got it. God give me strength!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Shipped shipped shipped… It seems to have a lot of trouble with the word for excrement. Ain't that a hoot… It can say excrement that it can say the diminutive. Sigh!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This will not be a long blog for a number of reasons… I have used up all my energy already for one thing, and I think I am still suffering from the wretched upper respiratory blight that has afflicted me for the past few weeks. I was just determined to try to get Dragon working again and I seem to have accomplished that. I'm sorry that we have not created any hilarious bits for your entertainment, but hope to do better next time. Hang in there you guys.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Love, lo</span><br />
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-8101650823846605702014-11-30T14:19:00.000-08:002014-11-30T18:55:23.298-08:00Bless your dear hearts......I love yez<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: small;">Thank you SO much for helping me out with y Comment problem.......apparentlythat one odd post was buggered up totally. Now that thinbgs are working again I an going to fetch my backup computer which contains Dragon and reinstate it here beside my old trust laptop on what was once the dining table. Migod, I can't remember the last time it served THAT ouroise, tho I hve a vague recollection of clearing off 36 inch3s at the end fairly recently so that a friend and I could gobble a pizza.....or was it a Weinerschnitzel Chili Dog?.........onw of my unk food staples anyway........I hate feeding company on their laps.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">This will not be a real post....I am just writing to relieve you all of the responsibility to participate inb my comment investigation.....not that I would mind getting comments for several hundred folks.......a blogger's dream........but it seems cruel to corce and coerce you as Ihave ddone with my piteous whining and whimpering. I figure I can only get away with it because I am so damned old and I had better nbot overdo that bit of blackmail either.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">For all of you fans of my Dragon blogs, do not despair......the two of us will be bqck soon to confound tittilate and annoy you, be patient.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">As for news from upper Califa street.....I had a new animal adventure the other night. There I was lounging in my recliner listening to books on tape when I noticed some strang furry activity at my porch buffet. I knew it was not Possum.....too much fur.......I doubted it was Raccoon......this was black and white not black and brown, and it was not at all catlike so I schlepped myself up to peer out of the window to see what was invading my porch and found the most adorable Mama Skunk and her offspring munching way at the kitty kibble! Now, I happen to love skunks and even their scent at a great distance. I decided that, cute as they werem I did not want them to accidentally spray the porch and front wall of my house so I runinated and wrestled for a solution and decided the wisest and most humane thing would be to move my porch buffet off the porch and out of the courtyard to a site in front of the garage. Sadly, I cannot see my patrons when they visit, but since I can't see much anymore anyway it is not a painful deprivation. This way any and all including Skunks can come an dine and should my garage door get sprayed, it is metal and can be decontaaminated more easily than stucco and wood. Those little darlings were just beautiful though.......sigh......I guess that one sighting will have to do me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">That us all for today, dear ones.........</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I have no intention of gtrying to proof read this so any goofs will be all my own work. I do not for one moment believe that Ican compete with what Dragon cabn accomplish without evebn trying. Hopefully we will alll be reunited shortly.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Love, Lo</span></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-34746696368296175052014-11-28T12:44:00.002-08:002014-11-28T12:44:58.866-08:00Update to (censored)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For some inexplicable reason my last blog garnered no comments except for one from my beloved, Joleave any old kind of comment if yoiu can.e Hagy , who somehow got an accidebnt blog wehich I never meant to publish and gbrabbed back as soon as I could. Ph well,ssince nothing makes much sense anymore I will not try to figure all that out. I am writing this just to find out if the commenting sdystem stgill works or if I am doomed to remain commentless.<br />
<br />
Please leave any old kind of comment if you can........if you see a few there you need not bother unless you feel inclined to commiserate. My favorite cpom[iter u[[ed and doed tpdauy and I am typing this myself on an unfamiliar keyboarded. <br />
did not feel up to coping with Dragon.<br />
<br />
By the way, I hadf a nice Thabksgiving because of a briloliant idea I got.....I made my turkey on Wednesday with the help of my lovely caregiver, Anne, so all I hadf to do on thursday was eat turke3y and listen to books on tape. Hope yo =u all had a grand Thanksgiv ing.<br />
<br />
Love, Lo</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-47861390652859549762014-10-29T13:20:00.001-07:002014-10-29T13:20:35.458-07:00Update.......the Good News and the Bad News<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The bad news is that Dragon is dead. I did NOT kill it......Windows Vista did/<br />
<br />
We had to uninstall it and reinstall it from scratch. Sob.<br />
<br />
The good news is that I am the subbornest damned mule ever hatched, born or created from leftover parts. I am determined to get Dragon working again. Making some progress. Managed to read <br />Susie the Singing Swine again with Florence reding it and whispering it into my ear. I cannot read fast enough to satisfy Dragon.......but we made it.<br />
<br />
I am going through the tutorial to learn the basic commands and I must say I am impressed. If I can ever learn and remember theem it will be wonderful. However, one small step at a time.<br />
<br />
I will report in again when more progress has been made. <br />
<br />
Pray for me.</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-7069043547564576972014-10-26T14:37:00.002-07:002014-10-26T16:17:13.772-07:00Do I have the only Dialog Blog in Cyberspace?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And if so, are we (Dragon and I) George and Gracie, Rowan and Martin or Abbott and Costello?????u</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">OY !</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The good news is that I have come to love Dragon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">T^he bad hnews is that, just nhow, in trying to obediently do an update which was described as a "must" I may have accidentally slain Dragon. I certainly hve caused it to stop working altogether. Damn and Hell. Sob. I am going away now to call my Computer Doctor and see if he can find the problem or I ay have to reinstall Dragon 12 and reteach it all my favorite words including SPF. Groan.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If ever there was a more perfect moment for me to utter it, I can't imagineone so I will simply have to type it myself and ask you all to tune in tomorrow when repairs may have been accomplished.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Shitpissfuck........in spades!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Love, Lo</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-66807434679561347772014-10-17T17:26:00.002-07:002014-10-17T19:10:42.051-07:00Annie or ""any" meet Rick or "wreck"… Or Lois is tattered, shattered and a few more things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">you have before,,,,sigh…. You have before you a tattered, Rick no no no… Shattered wreck… Tattered array… Oh shipped… Sigh… Shit shit shit. Looking back I can see that shattered wreck may be the closest I can come, and it's close enough or perhaps even better than a tattered one I guess. perhaps I had better start over.(for some reason today Dragon is having trouble capitalizing the first letter of the first word of my sentences… It also seems to be creating separate sentences where there shouldn't be Annie.… I wonder if I can introduce Annie to Rick?…I think the word I was looking for is annie… Any. up up up up, what happened there and what was I saying? Something about Draagoninmposing some strange phrasing on my prose. Nevermind.....things can only get better… Or worse. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">as I was trying to say, you havebefore you a tattered wreck of a human being who has just spent 15 minutes trying to don her morning schmatah. in this case the word schmatah describes a shapeless garment that covers me from chin to ankles, processing… Proposed …. you can't do it, can you?… POS S ESS … you win… Having long sleeve long sleeves and deep pockets. The problem is that when I wake up I am not the sharpest crayon in the box, and consequently I spent some time with my head inside the garment and with arms inside flailing helplessly as I attempted to put my hands through what seemed to be sleeves that had been sewn shut. My ries, moans and shitpissfucks were thankfully muffled by my head, being buried in cloth, but it was some time before I realized that I had not reached quite high enough, and as attempting to put my hands through the pockets… Upup up… A very frustrating way to begin the day, I'll tell you. I can only say that I'm grateful that I did not punch through the pockets in my frenzy, thereby rendering them useless from now on. Must be grateful for small favors.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Having finally gotten my hands through the sleeves, and my head through the caller no no no… It's caller no you stubborn mule… … Oh, where was I… I finally got my head out through the top and I was just about so worn out I had the impulse to just crawl back into bedand wrute tge day off but I bravely forged ahead, shoved my feet into my slippers (wrong feed in wrong slippers) and staggered into the dining room where the laptop lives and my day usually begins.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">t</span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, before I even sit down at the laptop the most urgent thing is to measure out Pauline's rations for the day. The doctor sternly prescribed 7/8 of a cup of kibble per day, not one chrome? crumb more, in this drastic effort to reduce her buy a pound so that hopefully she can clean her own fanny and relieve me of the task. I think it is working, but I'm not sure that either of us will live to see the day. She may be suffering hunger pangs but I am suffering the tortures of the damned not only being awakened at five and again at 7 AM for a few morsels to carry her over till breakfast, but faced with having my heart torn to shreds by her piteous looks during the day between feedings when she ply plateunges a dagger into my heart with her pleading glances at the empty platette and then at her mercilessly cruel enforcer. Yes, she gets fed five or six times a day in small portions, but apparently does not consider that an adequate meal by any means. I plan to take her to the vet next week for her way in to no no no, I should've known that would not work… To be weighed praying that she has lost at least 3 ounces. Actually, I do believe that the diet is being good for her because she is more alert and more active. I remember vividly how much better I used to feel physically when I was on a diet and losing a a few pounds. It was a tossup, though, betweebetween ckthe agony of being hungry all the time and the small pleasure from being able to move more easily. You can be damn sure that neither of us would be going through this if it weren't for the necessity of me following her around with wet wipes. oy vey.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">A s for the new little critter, Tootsie is doing beautifully... I still have a lot of work to do training her. She'll let me pet her, scratch her chin and neck, her back and the base of her tail, but she still won't let me pick her up and put her on my lap. When she goes out (which I permit once in a while). She has been very good about coming back when I call her shrieking "Tootsie" and lots of "here pussy pussy pussy pussy" accompanied by much clapping of the hands and some meowing noises. Sometimes she comes back even when I don't call her and I am thrilled to find her lounging on the Mexican tile floor of her sunroom waiting for me or some treat.... I am sure for grilled chicken livers (which she only gets a few times a week… You think I'm going to spoil this cat? Not a chance.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">if you think life on Califa Street is deadly dull I Baig to differ known no… I beg to differ. there are times when it is utterly amazing and the mind-boggling. Take the day ecently when Florence staggeed in wringing her hands and moaning in a tremulous voice, "there is a body in the walkway." Now I must explain that Florence is a fearful person and she is especially fearful when it comes to creatures of the animal persuasion. Nevertheless, the statement shook me up I must admit, and I carefully inquired, "you mean a body like a person or a body like an animal?" I was very relieved to hear that it was some sort of an animal, (not quite sure how I would manage to cram a human body into one of my large garbage sex… Saks, no the hell with it…). I was pretty sure that Florence's eyes did not rest long enough on the corpse to determine whether it was cat, squirrel, opossum or raccoon, so I had to schlep out to the walkway and take a look myself. The poor departed turned out to be opossum who had probably eaten a snail that had been poisoned with snail bait. (Not in my yard… I never use the stuff). One thing I have to say in favor of opossums… They have that wonderful stiff tail that provides a handy handle for picking him up and dropping him into the trash bag. I think it would've been kinder of him to have expired on someone else's walkway, b<b>u</b>t I guess he figured that the chances of having a few kind words uttered over him were better here than any place else on the block. His place is already been taken at the porch buffet by another possum and life goes on as usual on upper Kelly for street no no no…… Callis does street know you haven't got it yet. Kelly is a straight…. The hell with it. But I must ask how many of you have been stirred out of your lethargy by having someone announce that there was a body in the walkway? I will tell you, I have almost gotten to the point where nothing surprises me anymore. no, that's a lie… I just never know quite what. Florence or the Dragon have in store for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That does it,My dear ones. I have to go away and ponder why Dragon fails to capitalize the beginning of some sentences and I can tell , it ain't going to be easy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Love, lo</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-70636999013750760112014-10-13T16:18:00.002-07:002014-10-13T18:41:50.222-07:00what the fark… What the fork .....what the flock…… What the F you see Kay?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As you can see I am having a terrible time teaching Dragon my favorite dirty words. This newer version seems to have a built-in editor, which refuses to accept new words that begin with, end with, or contain the letters "F UCK". I sneaked that one past it by spelling out capital letters. Why Dragon needs a censor is totally beyond me, but then almost everything is the day… Totally beyond me. That is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Actually, I am writing this blog to explain to you my dear followers why I don't simply correct the errors that Dragon makes, and to do that I have to give you a short course in the mechanics of my vision. I'm going to print a letter on the not… The letter "O" will be a good example.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> "<span style="font-size: x-large;">O</span>" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The space inside that O is a little larger than my field of vision in my good . I… No no no… What we want here is the word "E why he"… I think I'd better.type it.…eye. The left eye has no central vision… Only peripheral vision. So it is useless in any detail work like reading or seeing a morsel of food on my dinner plate that is any larger than a lentil. Not only is the field of vision very small, but it also has a thin film of of something like a white mist obscuring its clarity. So that's what I have to work with.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now someone has suggested that instead of leaving the gobbledygook that Dragon sometimes produces, I should go back and correct it. There are two problems with that idea. First, what would be the fun in that? Most of the humor that I dish up lately is due to Dragon's misinterpretations. Frankly, I love my blogs as interpreted by dragon and refused to give them up just to make things easier for you guys. Secondly, and you'll have to try to get your mind around this, when I am looking at an error that Dragon has made it means I have to bring the cursor to the spot of the error. Needless to say, when I am looking at the error. The cursor is not within my field of vision. If I move my eyes to the spot where the cursor is. I then have to move them back to the spot of the error to judge the distance the cursor has to travel and continue with this back and forth motion until I've managed to bring the cursor to the error. As you all know, at this point, the cursor is no longer a nice black arrow or even a puny white little hand, it is simply of small vertical line. You have no idea how long it takes to locate that vertical line and position it correctly to correct the error. Take it from me, it is agony and if I had a better way of doing it. Believe me, I would.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, there are many commands in the Dragon lexicon that I could probably use to make this process easier, but since reading is so difficult for me. I just haven't done it yet. There is one command that I know that is called ", U, and Dio… No no no… How could you not know on do…,, Sigh… "undo". (Dammit, do I have to do everything for you?). Anyway, back to the command which I will not attempt to verbalize again, I did use it a couple of times, intending to simply erase the last word that I wrote, and instead any race almost the entire document I had written. There is no future in that I can tell you. One of these days I will tie Florence to the chair and force her to read to me some of the instructions and commands I sorely need, but I don't feel like doing that today.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I am glad that a few of you agree with me that Dragon has greatly improved my blog. This or at least given them a tantalizing flavor. They didn't have before. I know it's a dreadful decision to impose upon you, but you simply have to choose between gobbledygook blogs or no blogs Abdul up up up up… And all… At all. Frankly, I liked Abdul much better. come on now, be honest,didn't you?.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I hope that makes everything perfectly clear… No pity. Please… Just understanding. Okay?.</span></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-77495501500066742042014-10-12T11:26:00.001-07:002014-10-12T13:26:18.594-07:00What? You Mean It DOES Make Sense?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">the traysdamn you, the matter wake-up Dragon0133...…Not the mom go… I think we better start over.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">(As you can see, Dragon and I are cuddled up together indulging in a indecent and sometimes humorous foreplay… I have no idea what the hell the foreplay is in preparation of… Perhaps the the climaxing result of this strange action might be called a blog.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As I was trying to say, the phrase I have probably uttered the most times in my life, and with the most frustration and the most perplexity is, "But that doesn't make any sense." I remember from my earliest days, wringing, my fat little hands togetherwhile observing the behavior of the adults around me in total puzzlement and saying those words to myself in whatever form of baby talk I was using at the time, something akin to "what the Fox talk… Sigh….What the what's wrong, did you throw up… no community Tilia get over here it over here.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Get over here dear … Oh shit… I forgot the Mike was on while I was talking to Paulie… I think I'd better write that phrase out myself… If I remember correctly, I was trying to say, "what the fuck?" please excuse me for a minute while I go into the classroom and teach Dragonthat all important word. fuck</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">What the flock… What the Fox… Failed again. Never mind.We really must get on with this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As I tottered, limped or staggered through the rest of my life, I decided that nothing was ever going to make sense because we are all Meyer did no no no no… I think this Dragon is Jewish….we are all mired in incompetence in difference,in slaw …sloth and stupidity. But perhaps, more importantly in insanity! Not one of us including me is free of some kind of crazy addiction, which forces us to actimplausibly, even if we know better.For example, why did this person continue to adopt needy cats until our house was full of 12 or 15 of them and my life was a living hell ?I could go on but I won't.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">this all reminds meof aold story of a man seekingthe answerto the mystery of life travels to Indiato consult the head guruwho happens to reside oh crap… Sorry about that… Who happens to reside at the top of it nearly unclimb a ball mountain. We did nothing but a canteen of water the man climbs and climbs and climbs until he finally arrives, bloody and exhausted at the top where the Masters cave is located. Inside is a serene little man seated, of course, in the lotus position, who looks upon him kindly and asks how he may be able to help him. The man gasps, "oh wise one, what is the meaning of life?" The little man smiles and says, " my son, Llife is a fountain.". The man loses it completely rants, raves and utters a number of "what the fucks" and says "I traveled thousands of miles, climbed this Chevy Mountain….shitty mountain, without food, little water, get bloody and worn to a nubbin, and you tell me the meaning of life is that life is a fountain?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The little man looks perplexed and a bit bewildered and says, "what?? You mean life isn't a fountain??"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I know, I know, you probably all heard it before but it seems so fitting. I couldn't resist.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now you'll have to excuse me… I have to go and teach Dragon a few words and then lie down and put cold cloth cloths on my head.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Love, LO</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">PS..needless to say, this documenthas not been proofread/ </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br /></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-28509720648672431232014-09-27T09:04:00.000-07:002014-09-27T09:04:06.698-07:00another dialogue between lo and the Dragon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well here it is, it seems to be Effing 5 AM in the morningand I have just suffered the familiar poke the knows… No not that kind… I wanted Poconos… Poke in the nose… That's better. What the hell was I saying? Yes, the old poke in the nose with the fuzzy Kitty Paw signaling to me that it may be an ungodly hour, but cats on a diet, get ravenously hungry at odd times. Did I tell you that I had to put my Kitty Pauline on a diet? Like her predecessor, Winnie, she was getting too fat to clean her nether regions, and I was damned if I was going to go around. Following her with wet wipes. (This Dragon seems to have strange whims in regard to capitalization. You'll simply have to put up with this until I find out how to gain control over upper and lower case). Anyway, I don't know who suffering more, Pauline or me… I think it's a standoff. I am praying that she will have lost a pound, and I'll be able to give her an extra scoop or two of kibble instead of the meager 7/8 of a cup that I have to measure out a tablespoon at time. To think I actually thought when I gave up dieting a few years ago on the premise that during my declining years I should be allowed to eat anything I damn please. And by God I was going to do just that.… It is hard to believe that I now have to suffer the agonies of starving my cat, for her own good, of course. Shitpissfuck… Well, at least I've taught it that word, and it has remembered it for two days straight. If I weren't so pissed off at the damn program, I might consider giving it a medal. and maybe a small one for me as well. We won't even mention the fact that I have spent several hours dictating endlessly into the microphone in order to familiarize the creature with my voice. They might think this would be an easy thing . B UT, since this entails reading an entire chapter from a book (you're given your choice of the strange assortment), which of course I cannot see. Consequently, this scene develops like a bad comedy… My caregiver reads the words from page into my ear in a whisper, and I repeat it out loud, hoping that the thing won't realize that I'm sort of cheating. This process takes about an hour and I won't tell you the words I uttered yesterday when Florence and I got three quarters through the chapter about Susie the singing swine and I discovered that I had the mic plugged into the wrong orifice and the whole thing was for naught. It's a frightful sight to see two grown women weeping over a computer, and attempting to strangle each other with the assorted wires which of course are everywhere.<br />
<br />
I did have some success the other day when I finally learned how to teach it new words from my unique vocabulary. It really did learn shitpissfuck, tenks gott, meshugina, and , shit, shit,shit. I also taught itOy Vey which it got very well that time but has intermittent bouts of memory loss over that one. I will be thankful. Oh, for small favors and not complain t too much.<br />
<br />
As you can see I seem to be obsessed with this new tool, and I promise I won't carry on over it indefinitely, but it is a fascinating challenge and will be enormously helpful if I can get over the bumps in the road.<br />
<br />
On other fronts, I am having some success with my feral kitty, to see a war no no no… To see no. Excuse me while I go away in teach this thing to say that cats name properly. Mike off go to sleep (yes, one must remember to put the microphone to sleep in order to keep from making public the revolting contents of a deranged brain.)okay wake up… Did you learn to say to say Tootsie? By God, I think she's got it… Tootsie, Tootsie!<br />
<br />
As I was saying I think, have made some progress in turning Tootsie from a wild, feral beast into an almost tame pussy cat. This is only required several pounds of chicken livers and endless hours of cat C duction… Let's try that again… C duction, no seduction. Ha ha… It wants the soft E. A ve Oy Vey. It also requires me to spend hours sitting in her room, stroking her back with us stick and luring her closer with more bits of chicken liver, so I can sneakily substitute my hand for the stick before she knows what's happening. And by then it's too late for her to protest because it feels so good.I still haven't gotten her to the point where she'll let me pick her up or rubber. Tommy up up up up….Rub her tummy, but I still have hopes. I have tried letting her out to get familiar with the garden and had a somewhat sleepless night wondering if she would come back, but hallelujah, she did indeed return the next morning and trotted in, looking eagerly in all directions for the chicken livers. I've turned into a mean old bed up up up up up….Bit. No, can you say bitch… You see you can if you want to damn your eyes. I don't give her chicken livers every day… I figure I have to saves them for important tasks which I still hope to teach her. Holy crap, I seem to turned into a teacher of strange sorts and the subjects. On one hand, I am teaching blasphemous words to a collection of bits and bytes, (can you believe that, it's spelled bytes correctly under the circumstance… What do you think it would say if I said, "bite me". How about that?… Maybe I have been totally wrong about which one of us is the dummy.)… And on the other hand, I am teaching a feline creature to let me rub her tummy. Well, you can't say that I am mired in the ordinary.<br />
<br />
I'm sure that Dragon is willing and able to continue this nonsense interminably, but I am just a poor, weak human with very few bits and bytes left and I am exhausted from this little exercise. I am also a little bit tickled by the results, and I hope you guys will be too… After all, I'm doing this for you. I have a feeling this is the most boring blog I ever wrote, and for that I apologize abjectly, but being entertaining and amusing were not the top priority in this experiment. Stick with me…it's gotta get better.<br />
<br />
I love you all madly.<br />
LO</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-12834954916859061762014-09-20T13:41:00.002-07:002014-09-20T13:46:28.862-07:00another go round with . The Dragon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">they can go to ..... okay that is.....ugh</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> up up </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I have just been through two days of absolute cattle up up up….No not cattle… And don't forget that when I laugh Dragon interprets that as "up"…… As I was trying to say, I have been through absolute hell with an infected computer… It was so sick the computer Dr. had to take it home and operate on icrap what happened here t surgically. He brought it back yesterday but I think it's missing a few parts and possibly the main components of Vince Braden will well oh, oh….I was sure that in Tuesday… I was trying to say the main components of its brain. God it….Not quite….Got it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Omifod........ oh dear, I'm afraid it's going to be a long cold winter. However, I cannot give up yet….If I could only get this thing going properly to make it possible for me to b L<b>OG…</b>.Or whatever you call this abomination. How do you like that, it does fine with abomination and fails miserably with blog (manually typed by me….I have to teach it a lot of words).</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> I am coming to you today at tattered rep… No,,,,, rack rank you you're giving up? I wonder if I can spell a word…… WRECK. Finally! I can see that I'm going to end up even more of a double you are he see K then I was before. In fact, we can't go on like this. I will do some more work teaching Dragon before we are fully operational.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Meanwhile, garbage though it may be, you cannot accuse me of not posting.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">More later.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Love the low… Shall we try that again?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Love, LO </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-30712255196414442482014-09-15T20:44:00.003-07:002014-09-15T20:44:34.173-07:00Once More I Attack the Dagon and Vice Versa<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">NOTE - this is a test… For the Dragon dictation program, for you and for me. Results will not be graded, tenks gott! </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well folks, your intrepid blogger has picked herself up from the floor, applied Band-Aids where necessaryand then is preparing to do battle again with the Dragon program.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know if you remember the last time I tried this…… Some of the results were borderline acceptable and some were hysterically funny and wrong, wrong, wrong. As I recall, I gave up after having to teach the program my favorite word "ship hits Fox". (Dragon's interpretation of my favorite cuss word bears no resemblance whatsoever to the real thing), and after I taught it "shitpissfuck" for the 20th time and it forgot it for the 20th time I just dissolved into a puddle of tears and gave up. It's only recently that I found out that I should have stored each day's lesson in Dragon's memory before logging off. Who knew? Anyway, I plan to try again and hope you :dear souls will all bear with me till both Dragon and ts thenI get it right. It sure as hell is a lot easier for me to dictate my thoughts than to type them with my Dick's let..... dyslexic fingers and have to go back and correct every other word. I'm going to leave a lot ofthe funny bits and misinterpretations for your amusement. It shouldn't be any worse than having to put up with all the typos. I've been dealing out to you, so get ready for a new adventure or disaster. Or maybe a little of both.....</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I really don't have any news I feel like telling you right now except for my latest makeshift invention to enable me to see the stock market charts on the computer. I have found that there could be such a thing as too much light so the other day, I grabbed a towel, draped it over the computer monitor and draped it over my head to make a sort of tense… tenant….Tent (the AMM I see.......the what?)….(Dammit). There I sat, a hunched over lump with the computer and me lurking under a purple towel from which issued forth curses, screeches and piteous moans. Believe it or not, it worked fairly well but was uncomfortable as hell… I will have to come up with a better solution, but it may extend my career as a dabbler in the market. As you can see I will go to any Lance to get what I want now but I whoops… Lance? who the hell is Lance?? Try that again… I will stop at nothing to achieve my goals… Well almost..... No, that is a lie....... these days, after 20 or 30 attempts, I just give up..... enough already.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Some of this experiment is a bit more satisfying than the last, probably due to the fact that I have lowered my standards considerably. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I hate to leave you in the lurch, but I am being summoned. Tootsie is demandin withy a soulful chorus of meows and caterwauling (forgi e me, I couold not resist) that I I come and serenade her. And I think I should quit while I'm if not ahed at lest not losing too badly.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">let's score it Dragon 22/64ths - Lo 5***** for effort. Okay, let's hit publish and see what we've got. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-28913759407117729162014-09-07T16:09:00.002-07:002014-09-07T16:16:30.882-07:00Back to Being My Old Humble Self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">I just realized tht unless I get off my ass and post a new smattering quickly, my pages of self promotion (courtesy of Mr. Joe Hagy and Manzanita) will remain displayed till eternity. Horrors! Hell, even I am sick and tired of reading how wonderful I am.......(only I know the real truth and I am not going there today).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Trouble is, I have a page of notes of stuff I want to tell you about, but as all bloggers know, I have to pull together the threads of the harrstive in my currently befuddled brain before launching forth. I won't deny tht I am struggling mightily with the vision problem and only have workable sight for a few hours after waking before the eye is worn to a frazzzle and goes on strike relegating me to the recliner and books on tape, but I just broke down and opened my purse, let the moths fly out and purchased a newer version of the Dragon progrsm which lets you dictate the contents of your mind (untastefully and strangely edited by Dragon's own mind.....if it can be called that......so nxt week I will force Florence to read me the insgtructions and I will tackle that again, hoping that this time, when I teach it "shitpissfuck" I will have enough sense to storee it in Dragon's memory so I do not have to reteach it every damned time I use the word (which, as you all know, if often, to say the least).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And while the purse was open and the moths given their freedom, I made yet anothe extravgant purchase.....a brilliant idea that came to me one night while I was waiting for the fickle bastard of a </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sandman to come by. I spend a lot of time trying to think of things I can do that do not require much vision and one day a few weeks ago I suddenly had a technicolor vision of an electronic keyboard of the kind that Pete;s piano man used to use when we had a gig in a place with no real piano. It came upon me that if I had one of those things I could learn a few chords and not only entertain myself but even accompany myself dur4ring my bouts of bursting forth with song. The birds whom I used to sing to may be gone but the cats still seem to respond well to my warbling and poor Florence and Ann,, my caregivers are too intimidted to protest. (so far)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Well, the fact is that it arrived a few weeks ago, but aside from assembling the stand I have not yet had the courage to open the carton with the keyb oard, mainly because it will require someone to read me the instructions (oh, how I hate that) and also the messages we have read indicate that it wants a dedicated electric plug of it's own....none of those exteded things that run the ccomputer, the printer, the CD plyer, the coffee maker, the can opener.......need I go on? In this old house, many of whose wall sockets do not contain a third hole for the ground plug it may require unloading and moving a huge breakfront full of my china collection to get to the plug behind that cabinet. How I could have been so stupid as to fail to plug something into both of those wall outlets before putt the cabinet there I cannot explain to you or myself. We just won't go there. Rather than do that I may just call an Electrician and have a new outlet instslled within reach.....,,I am only considering that possiblility because I not only obtained the keyboard at an incredible bargain price, but I was able to apply a ton of my credit card points to the purchase making the thing close to free. Oh, and I also did the same on the Dragon program and got that on a day that Amazon lost their minds and offered it at a ridiculously reduced price. Laugh if yu like, but my Mamma always told me, "Waste not, want not".....truer words were never spoken.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I have promised myself thst this coming week I will get the keyboard plugged in even if I have to run an extension cors to my neighbor's house4.....they are away on a 6 week vacstion and I think I could flummox the house xitter into allowing me to try that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So,. my deas, that is what I have been up to (or not up to) since last we met. I promise to keep you updated on my progress ? if any should occur. Meanwhile, let it be known that my swelled head has shrunkn bck to normal size and I am once again forced t6o make peace daily with all my shortcomings.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">At least this week, failing to blogg is not one of them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Love, Lo</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Note: This blogger takes no responsiblility whatsoever for any slanderous or plagarized material which may occur due to this blogger's inablity to properly edit or correct typos or computer generated malapropisms. Anything that comes out accidentally funny however, I will take one half the crdit for......after all.....it is my blog.</span></div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5265757842252897204.post-5647773394695287782014-09-05T20:38:00.002-07:002014-09-05T20:38:16.871-07:00Lo Is Speechless Again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Anyone who hangs around this corner knows of my Late-Life Cyber Love Affair with the incomparable blogger, Mr. Joe Hagy of Cranky Old Man,one of th funnist blogs on or off th plant.. We often toss bouquets at each other and rarely does a rude word pass between us, (though I oftn disagree with his position on things, w got Respect) but this past Tuesday Joe published his 2014 Walter Awards and knocked my socks off by bestowing one on me. This after the marvelous Manzanita's glowing tribute last week has both taken my breath away and given me a swelled head so monstrous it restricts me to the house because it is too damned big to pass through my doorways. I an assuming that this condition will gradually fade as I face reality in the coming weeks or months, but I cannot deny that I am enjoying the hell out of these Oscars/Walters.<br />
<br />
I sit here facing the fact that the words "Thank You" are so puny as to be useless, but they are all I've got, espcially in this enfeebled state. So without futhr maundering I present below excerpts from Joe's Tuesday post <br />
<table style="border: 0; margin: 0; padding: 0; width: 100%;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="vertical-align: top;" width="99%"><br /></td><td width="1%"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="color: #555555; font-family: Georgia,Helvetica,Arial,Sans-Serif; font-size: 13px; font-size: 13px; line-height: 140%; margin: 9px 0 3px 0;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 18pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">THE WALTER - 2014</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 18pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">A Cranky Old Man Award</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="aolmail_tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil9GykSs9R52PPrBu3CXBGsbRcpcbdm3H1TnfACRy6Yhi__JiniY_qvd-FTnA7aGM7JM1sDLXiZhulN5YqmyxrsJnLBoIWC1UxgPxeRuLzcP2qihjZF27UzuTsDBoPeo2KoovP3U1_Ug/s1600/Walter.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil9GykSs9R52PPrBu3CXBGsbRcpcbdm3H1TnfACRy6Yhi__JiniY_qvd-FTnA7aGM7JM1sDLXiZhulN5YqmyxrsJnLBoIWC1UxgPxeRuLzcP2qihjZF27UzuTsDBoPeo2KoovP3U1_Ug/s1600/Walter.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="aolmail_tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Walter"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div align="center" class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is September, time for the second annual awarding of</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20pt;">“The Walter.”</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Because, unlike Suldog <a href="http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/</a>,
I believe there cannot be enough blog awards, so I have added my
own. It is named after Jeff Dunham’s hysterical cranky old man puppet,
“Walter.”</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">This
award recognizes those bloggers who post consistent (3 days a week or
more) original, humorous and or thought provoking material, and or
anyone I damn well feel like awarding it to.</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">To accept this award you need only grab it from above, and display it on your blog. </span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">(I assume no responsibility if it is stolen copy written material)</span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There
are no questions to answer. If recipients wish to award it to
anyone they feel meets the above criteria, you are hereby authorized to
do so.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you want to see last year’s winners you can find them here:</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-walter-cranky-award.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-walter-cranky-award.html</span></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The part of this process I don’t like is leaving out so many great bloggers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
follow lots of bloggers, I like all the blogs that I follow and I read
all the posts; so if I follow, know you have received an Honorable
Mention Walter, also, there is always next year!</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 16pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 18pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The
Final WALTER is a Lifetime Achievement award and goes "It's always
something..." posted by Lo @ http://loisstearns.blogspot.com/<br /><br />Lo
posts only sporadically as of late due to failing eyesight. She is an
interesting feisty lady and to read her posts is to fall in love. I
admit to having a blogmance with Lo but I am willing to share. Go,
visit, read her older posts and fall in blogmance yourself. <br /><br />If you can read this Lo, I must add “SPF!”<br /><br /> *************************</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<br />
And all I can say is SPF and WOW. I luv ya, Joe.<br />
<br />
Oh, yeah........one other thing. If you are so unfortunate as to not be familiar with Cranky Old Man I urge, nay I command you to rush there imnnediately .........you can thank me later.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 18pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /><br /> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="aolmail_MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-line-height-alt: 10.9pt; text-align: left;">
</div>
</div>
Lohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08398370059689865989noreply@blogger.com3