Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Oy Vey or Hooray,,,,,It All Depends

It all depends. on how you look at it. 

I am checking in with  a very petite, mni-blog just so's you'll know I am still here ranting, raving, griping and complaining and occasionally laughing out loud at how odd life is.

I saw (in a manner of speaking) my Retinologist the other day and was told that my vision, tho losing some ground, is holding up fairly well considering......considering 3what I am not sure.  After all these years of many visits per year he and I have a nice relationship and ofteb discuss deep subjects while he is peering into the deepths of my eyeballs and blinding me even more with some wretched ultra brigh light which turns the whole world magenta afterward.  In my usual brashm arrogant fashion I said to him, " Dammit, why in the hell aren't you guys working on a stem cell injection you can poke into my eyeball to restore the retina?" and he looked at me with a combination of surprise and delight and said, "We are working on that very thing."  Humph, I grumbled.....you had better hurry.......it'll probably be too late for me."  Whereupon he said, "Not at all......we may have something viable by  your next appointment."  (6 months)  At which moment I knocked him to the floor, smotheefred him with kisses and refused to let him up until he promised to put me t the top of the list for testing. 

Of course, that means that once more I face the situation of having to submit monthly or so to a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but I will gladly endure that process (it really sounds much worse than it feels)  if it will give me back a smidgeon of sight.

Well, that is the news from upper Califa St.  Incidentally this ws writtenb without benefit of Dragon so all of the typos and errors are my own.  Sadly, you are being deprived of Dragon's inimiable humor and I have none of my own to offer today.  Don't despair.....maybe next time.

Love, Lo

Saturday, January 31, 2015

You Are NOT Your Body

When I was a tiny tot of 4 0r 5 I vividloy recll stding in the kitchen and looking aroun the room and being convinced t6hat I was enclosedd inside an outer thing with 2 eyeholes and I was look out of them there eyehole the world.  I felt  enclosed bu6t totally separate from my outer container.......my phsical  body that is.    Ever since, I have felt  that my body is merely a vehicle  for my essence.....a very ingenious, convenient and useful container for sure,  but definitely not ME.  Okay, this is when you roll your eyes around and twirl you forefinger at your temple....Lo is over the edge.

Not so my deears.......and if you plan to survive old age you damnmed well better grasp the idea I am trying to convey.  Otherwise, as your body falls apart first this hhunk, then that one, you will have a lot of trouble maint6ianing you sense of self worth.  The good old bod is like a good old beat up car that is still doing its best to get you around and from here to there, sometimes in laughable fashion and sometimes unsucessfully,  but5 you are still there in the driver's seat, more or less intact but having to accept and adjust to the loss of functions.

For years I have been having to tamp down thr rage and disgust that overshelms me when I read a blog on which the writer goes to piieces over a wrinkle or a sagging boob. as if the world were coming to an end over the loss of a crumb of outward apperance.  I simply want to screm,
 Never mind about the outside shell you idiot, clean up the wretched mess of your real self inside!!"

The old saw abou6t the body being the temple of the spirit never reallly resonated for me until I recognized that thet were really telling m,e what I had alread figuered out in my mundane way,

I guess I am writing about this becase I see myself dragging this poor decripit carcass around.....and very cumbersone and inconvenient it is, by the way, b ut this dear old bod has served me well for over 80 years and I am revering it more and more as it becomes less and lesswhat it was.  Never mind that the eyes can't find my glasses, that the ears cause me to beg,"Say again, please"and that I wisely reach for my cane and the railing  when I attempt a flight of stairs.  Hell, I consider that it  is amazing that i still doing stairs  any which way.

Do not think that I am accepting all this decreitude quite as  gracefully as I have made it seem.......the number of shitpissfucks thqt issue forth from my no longer plump and luscious lips increases daily, and we will not try to count the number of times I scream, "Oh, for crisssake, Lo, look what you've done, or haven't done". 
But I am finding it easier to be kinder about it all.   As long as the inner pilot light continues to burn  blue I will cherish the remarkable structure that I dwell in.

And the best thing of all about not identifying with the outer covering is that I can go without a bra, boobs for all to notice and not give a damn.  Oy, does that feel good!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Where the Hell Have I Been?.....Damned If I know

Sorry, sorry, I AM sorry.  I know I have been off the map for ages and I am sure some of you have given up on me.

I have been struggling with a passel of stuff.......health issues, the loss of my caregiver, Florence, who hs gone on to bigger, better things and the frantic efforts to find a suitable replacement......oy vey....soch a lot of tsouris.   (that means Trouble right here in River City.)

Things are still in  bit of a mess, but I have one piece of good news......I have found a wonderful caregiver who is willing and seems to be able to step in and take care of me.  I have had another mniracle!   Her name is Charlotte.  I will tell you more about Charlotte in my next epistle.....today I am only writing this  to keep you from scrawling R.I.P across the picture of me you all have by your bedsides.

This coming week will be daunting, but I hope that things will smooth out after that.  \\I hate to keep repeating myself, but MORE LATER.

Love,  Lo

Monday, December 1, 2014

Dragon and Lo....Together Again

Well, here we are… I feel like I'm walking on egg's… No not possessive, plural eggs… I just had to submit to an update which I fear has destroyed all of the precious words that I've taught Dragon in the past. I expect I may have to teach them all again. Sob! I just tried my favorite expletive "ship this spot" and we all know that that isn't correct. I'm afraid to try Michigan the… I better type it…meshugina. Oy vey! How about that it did remember one of the. One of them. We will find out as we go along which lessens need to be repeated… Not that kind of lessons now you've got it. God give me strength!

Shipped shipped shipped… It seems to have a lot of trouble with the word for excrement. Ain't that a hoot… It can say excrement that it can say the diminutive. Sigh!

This will not be a long blog for a number of reasons… I have used up all my energy already for one thing, and I think I am still suffering from the wretched upper respiratory blight that has afflicted me for the past few weeks. I was just determined to try to get Dragon working again and I seem to have accomplished that. I'm sorry that we have not created any hilarious bits for your entertainment, but hope to do better next time. Hang in there you guys.

Love, lo

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Bless your dear hearts......I love yez

Thank you SO much for helping me out with y Comment problem.......apparentlythat one odd post was buggered up totally.  Now that thinbgs are working again I an going to fetch my backup computer which contains Dragon and reinstate it here beside my old trust laptop on what was once the dining table.  Migod, I can't remember the last time it served THAT ouroise, tho I hve a vague recollection of clearing off 36 inch3s at the end fairly recently so that a friend and I could gobble a pizza.....or was it a Weinerschnitzel Chili Dog?.........onw of my unk food staples anyway........I hate feeding company on their laps.

This will not be a real post....I am just writing to relieve you all of the responsibility to participate inb my comment investigation.....not that I would mind getting comments for several hundred folks.......a blogger's dream........but it seems cruel to corce and coerce you as Ihave ddone with my piteous whining and whimpering.  I figure I can only get away with it because I am so damned old and I had better nbot overdo that bit of blackmail either.

For all of you fans of my Dragon blogs,  do not despair......the two of us will be bqck soon to confound tittilate and annoy you,  be patient.

As for news from upper Califa street.....I had a new animal adventure the other night.  There I was lounging in my recliner listening to books on tape when I noticed some strang furry activity at my porch buffet.  I knew it was not Possum.....too much fur.......I doubted it was Raccoon......this was black and white not black and brown, and it was not at all catlike so I schlepped myself up to peer out of the window to see what was invading my porch and found the most adorable Mama Skunk and her offspring munching way at the kitty kibble!   Now, I happen to love skunks and even their scent at a great distance.  I decided that, cute as they werem I did not want them to accidentally spray the porch and front wall of my house so I runinated and wrestled for a solution and decided the wisest and most humane thing would be to move my porch buffet off the porch and out of the courtyard to a site in front of the garage.  Sadly, I cannot see my patrons when they visit, but since I can't see much anymore anyway it is not a painful deprivation.  This way any and all including Skunks can come an dine and should my garage door get sprayed, it is metal and can be decontaaminated more easily than stucco and wood.   Those little darlings  were just beautiful though.......sigh......I guess that one sighting will have to do me.

That us all for today, dear ones.........

I have no intention of gtrying to proof read this so any goofs will be all my own work.  I do not for one moment believe that Ican compete with what Dragon cabn accomplish without evebn trying.  Hopefully we will alll be reunited shortly.

Love, Lo

Friday, November 28, 2014

Update to (censored)

For some inexplicable reason my last  blog garnered no comments except for one from my beloved, Joleave any old kind of comment if yoiu can.e Hagy , who somehow got an accidebnt blog wehich I never meant to publish and gbrabbed  back as soon as I could.  Ph well,ssince nothing makes much sense anymore I will not try to figure all that out.  I am writing this just to find out if the commenting sdystem stgill works or if I am doomed to remain commentless.

Please leave any old kind of comment if you can........if you see a few there you need not bother unless you feel  inclined to commiserate.  My favorite cpom[iter u[[ed and doed tpdauy and I am typing this myself on an unfamiliar keyboarded.
did not feel up to coping with Dragon.

By the way, I hadf a nice Thabksgiving because of a briloliant idea I got.....I made my turkey on Wednesday with the help of my lovely caregiver, Anne, so all I hadf to do on thursday was eat turke3y and listen to books on tape.  Hope yo =u all had a grand Thanksgiv ing.

Love, Lo

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Update.......the Good News and the Bad News

 The bad news is that Dragon is dead.  I did NOT kill it......Windows Vista did/

We had to uninstall it and reinstall it from scratch.  Sob.

The good news is that I am the subbornest damned mule ever hatched, born or created from leftover parts.  I am determined to get Dragon working again.  Making some progress.  Managed to read
Susie the Singing Swine again with Florence reding it and whispering it into my ear.  I cannot read fast enough to satisfy Dragon.......but we made it.

I am going through the tutorial to learn the basic commands and I must say I am impressed.  If I can ever learn and remember theem it will be wonderful.  However, one small step at a time.

I will report in again when more progress has been made. 

Pray for me.