Saturday, March 28, 2015

And For My Next Number......

This is just  a quick note........several of you showed interest in my brief  career (?) as an Air Raide Warden Messenger back during the Big  War which I entioned ib my lst blog.  Actually, I did write  blog about it a gzillion years ago.....I do not have the energy nor the wit to search back to find it, so I will attempt to recreate it for those of you young whippersnappers who missed alol that fun(?) in my next post. 

Unless something more exciting happens which needs to be reported.........perish forbid!

Love, Lo

Friday, March 27, 2015

Lo's Latest Adventure


So there I was the other night, nestled in my reliner listening to Books on Tape when, suddenly, the whole damned world went away.........the book stopped playing and I was plunged into a darkness blacker than I ever remembered, though perhaps the womb might have been as dark.....I do not really remember that.

Fortunately I knew it was not my failibg visionand had to be an electical failure of cosmic proportions.  The almost funny part was that I got up from my chair intendibg to walk over 4 steps to where I had a flashlight, but once having lost physical contact with the chair I did not know which te hell way was up.  I groped around cautiously for at least 5 minutes abd did bnot encounter anything and it was the weirdest feeling I have had since .......well, never mind.....it was weird and with each effort to find something solid I b ecame more panicky.  Had I suddenly been trabspoted to an unlit closet in the spaceship I am sure is hovering up there somewhere, occasionally shooting strange confusing rays down at me just for laughs?  Still groping and wondering where I was I finally, tenks gott, encountered Glass. A few gropes led me to r4ecognize a sliding glass door at the far end of the dining room and I nearly sobbed in elief.  At least5 I ws still in my own house, though how I had managed to get to that location without tripping over anything or feeling anything solid is still beyond me.  Anyway, I now knew how to feel my way to a flashlight and the world was no longer the depths of a coal mine.

I know they are always telling us to be prepared for emergencies and I have sporadically attempted to do ust that, but after having to dump the tightly covered trash can in my back yard that contained my emergency earthquake supplies because of creepingt mildew and the outdatedness of most of its contents a lot of which was cat food years past its use=by date, I have lost enthusiasm fo such projects.  I did remember that I had a brand new hur4icane lamp in the garage and I actually webnt out and found it, pristine in its box with insgtructions I could not read of course, so Igrabbed a few candles, lit them and stuck them onto a plate, made my way to the bedroom and did what any sensible person would do, I went to bed.

Oooops, not true....I forgot that I had gingerly made my way out the fronbt door clutching my flashlight to see if the rest of the neighborhood was also pitch black and encountered a cr3ew fromn the power company making their way downb the street trying to find the source of the outage.  They asked permission to go into my back yard to examine the powe pole and line nd I gave thenm carte blanch before staggering back in and going to bed.    Contact with a human rather than a creature 3 feet tall with huge eyes did much to reassure me.  Fortunate0ly, my  Braille reader has a battery life of something like 60 hours so I was even able to create a semblance of normality by listening to a Dave Barry book...was I lucky or what?  Thus passed the darkest night since my adventures patrolling the neighborhood as an air raid wardebn messenger during the Big War.  Somehow....that was not nearly as dark......dunno why.  Pauline and I awoke to a sunny day with  appliances either buzzing happily (freezer and frig) and all the others eagerly waiting for me to push their buttons.

The only small disaster centered around the candles which I HAD blown out but which had puddled more wax than one could imagine might be in a little stub of  candle and which had dribbled out of the dish and onto my bedside bookcase, an assortment of old books and, of course, the floor.  I figure I got off easy.  I only had to reset one clock which was plugged in and was about 4 hours behind.

Oy Gevalt. Too muchexcitement.

Love, Lo

PS   I have since learned how to operate the hurrican leamp and have ordered 4 more.  The Boy Scouts had it right....Be Prepared.


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh !!! Have I Got a Problem???!!!!!




During what I call the Big Blog Disaster one of my beloved readers wrote a comment that  tipped me off to an Ebay offering of the vibrat5ing chair cover that I was lamenting the loss of and was so eagerly seekiung.  When that blog got clobbered by the cyber devils I had to delete it and, of course, lost thecommentts.  Oy.
whicheverr one of you dear souls
Amazingly, in my frantic searches to find a replacement seat cover Ia was led to Amazon and thence to Ebay and managed to buy the  one offered there.  While I `await its arrival I want to thank the dear soul who tried to help me and let you know that you actually succeeded.  A million thanks and please let me know who you are.

Love, Lo

Thursday, March 12, 2015

APOLOGY


Horrors! I do not know howa  it happened,, but I seem to have published  blog that was a working draft containing some undeveloped themes and leaviing out other parts.  If I ofended any of you please fo4give me.  I will try to repair the damage as soon as I stop screaming and hittibg my head against the wall.  Sob.

Love, Lo

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Ooooops Sorry

Oh, shitpissfuck.

I started a blog a week ago ,,,,,,just me, without dragon.....and I was doing fairly well till I got to what was supposed to be the final pargraph and got bogged down in my own rhetoric.   So I set it aside till y ind cleared abd have been trying ever since to edit it without success,,,,,the comput6er refuses to obey my commands, pleas, threats  and Ihave been afraid I will lose the whole damned thing if I keep meddling on my own so I will wait patiently (?) till Charlotte comes tomorrow to help me out

Hopefully all will be resolved soon.  However, if you hear  blood curdlinbg scream echoing thru cyberspace you will know that something is amiss.  Don't give up......I am doing the bst I can.  And you know how stubborn I am........

Love, Lo

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Oy Vey or Hooray,,,,,It All Depends

It all depends. on how you look at it. 

I am checking in with  a very petite, mni-blog just so's you'll know I am still here ranting, raving, griping and complaining and occasionally laughing out loud at how odd life is.

I saw (in a manner of speaking) my Retinologist the other day and was told that my vision, tho losing some ground, is holding up fairly well considering......considering 3what I am not sure.  After all these years of many visits per year he and I have a nice relationship and ofteb discuss deep subjects while he is peering into the deepths of my eyeballs and blinding me even more with some wretched ultra brigh light which turns the whole world magenta afterward.  In my usual brashm arrogant fashion I said to him, " Dammit, why in the hell aren't you guys working on a stem cell injection you can poke into my eyeball to restore the retina?" and he looked at me with a combination of surprise and delight and said, "We are working on that very thing."  Humph, I grumbled.....you had better hurry.......it'll probably be too late for me."  Whereupon he said, "Not at all......we may have something viable by  your next appointment."  (6 months)  At which moment I knocked him to the floor, smotheefred him with kisses and refused to let him up until he promised to put me t the top of the list for testing. 

Of course, that means that once more I face the situation of having to submit monthly or so to a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but I will gladly endure that process (it really sounds much worse than it feels)  if it will give me back a smidgeon of sight.

Well, that is the news from upper Califa St.  Incidentally this ws writtenb without benefit of Dragon so all of the typos and errors are my own.  Sadly, you are being deprived of Dragon's inimiable humor and I have none of my own to offer today.  Don't despair.....maybe next time.

Love, Lo


Saturday, January 31, 2015

You Are NOT Your Body

When I was a tiny tot of 4 0r 5 I vividloy recll stding in the kitchen and looking aroun the room and being convinced t6hat I was enclosedd inside an outer thing with 2 eyeholes and I was look out of them there eyehole the world.  I felt  enclosed bu6t totally separate from my outer container.......my phsical  body that is.    Ever since, I have felt  that my body is merely a vehicle  for my essence.....a very ingenious, convenient and useful container for sure,  but definitely not ME.  Okay, this is when you roll your eyes around and twirl you forefinger at your temple....Lo is over the edge.


Not so my deears.......and if you plan to survive old age you damnmed well better grasp the idea I am trying to convey.  Otherwise, as your body falls apart first this hhunk, then that one, you will have a lot of trouble maint6ianing you sense of self worth.  The good old bod is like a good old beat up car that is still doing its best to get you around and from here to there, sometimes in laughable fashion and sometimes unsucessfully,  but5 you are still there in the driver's seat, more or less intact but having to accept and adjust to the loss of functions.

For years I have been having to tamp down thr rage and disgust that overshelms me when I read a blog on which the writer goes to piieces over a wrinkle or a sagging boob. as if the world were coming to an end over the loss of a crumb of outward apperance.  I simply want to screm,
 Never mind about the outside shell you idiot, clean up the wretched mess of your real self inside!!"

The old saw abou6t the body being the temple of the spirit never reallly resonated for me until I recognized that thet were really telling m,e what I had alread figuered out in my mundane way,

I guess I am writing about this becase I see myself dragging this poor decripit carcass around.....and very cumbersone and inconvenient it is, by the way, b ut this dear old bod has served me well for over 80 years and I am revering it more and more as it becomes less and lesswhat it was.  Never mind that the eyes can't find my glasses, that the ears cause me to beg,"Say again, please"and that I wisely reach for my cane and the railing  when I attempt a flight of stairs.  Hell, I consider that it  is amazing that i still doing stairs  any which way.

Do not think that I am accepting all this decreitude quite as  gracefully as I have made it seem.......the number of shitpissfucks thqt issue forth from my no longer plump and luscious lips increases daily, and we will not try to count the number of times I scream, "Oh, for crisssake, Lo, look what you've done, or haven't done". 
But I am finding it easier to be kinder about it all.   As long as the inner pilot light continues to burn  blue I will cherish the remarkable structure that I dwell in.

And the best thing of all about not identifying with the outer covering is that I can go without a bra, boobs for all to notice and not give a damn.  Oy, does that feel good!
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