Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Graaack, Urkkkkklll, Blurgggghh........Mphmp......

Well, what's that you say?  Well, it looks like English to me!    What's that  ??????....italics?........hmmmm........I fear it may have to be italics..........I have forgotten the combination, not that I ever really knew it......sometimes if I pound on the Ctrl key hard enough it fixes things, but obviously, not today.......


And, furthermore,  if there's anything I hate it's when you are just drifting off into a nice blissful sleep and some rude masked man asks you if you can heave yourself off the gurney and get your bountiful bod onto the operating table.....hell there are at least 4 or 5 masked people standing around uselessly doing nothing......why can't they each grab an arm or a leg and heave me over themselves?.......


Anyway, that is the last I remember of  my former life.........there were absolutely NO great colorful dreams or adventures....in fact,  the world I was in was a strange grey brown color, I felt like I was lying on some odd, sharp  rubble like pulverized lava and people's faces were seen from time to time thru a haze of  gray-brown mist.......and the faces kept asking me how I was doing and I would snap I am just fine thank you, and go right back to sleep.


Apparently this continued for some time till I finally opened my eyes and asked, "What time is it?", and was told it was 5:30 which seemed about right to me since my surgery had been about 10 or 11 am........then I looked out the window and saw the sun rising in the east and asked, "What the hell day is it?" and when I found out it was Thursday not Wednesday anymore, that was when the wheels came off and the cart has not been running quite right since.  

I don't know why the idea of sleeping for 20 or so hours discombobulated me so much....or perhaps it was the idea of having lost a day unexpectedly.........it might have even been when I asked to go to the potty and the nurse said, "this is ICU......there is no potty"  that I lost my firm grip on reality. When she offered me the use of a bedpan and, I, for my own reasons, insisted on a commode or a real toilet things went downhill rapidly.  She assured me that a real room with a real toilet was in process of being prepared for me somewhere but now she had to go on her break........fortunately, still being in my post anesthesia stupor I could not protest too loudly and decided to just go back to sleep.


I have many more funny (?) stories of this hospital stay, but I will save them for another day when a few more of my faculties may have returned.  All I can say is that this visit was no fun at all, nor is this strange woozy convalescence I am experiencing...........I can only conclude that my brain, having accustomed itself to doing just fine on only 10% of blood flow, just doesn't know what the hell to do with this extra nourishment and has decided to just sleep it off till my body figures out  how to make things become normal again.  I have been assured by my doctors that this is the best idea I have had in three days.


Migawd, I have now been upright and awake for over 15 minutes..........I must immediately prostrate myself and drift off for a while.  Nice visiting with you.  Do come again when you or I or both of us can spend more time...............so sorry, but I must get a nap in here somewhere because I must be awake by 8 PM when NCIS and Mark Harmon appear on the TV..............NO, of course I haven't lost  ALL my marbles...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................