Friday, November 29, 2013

Nu, Nu.....So Were You Expecting Pollyanna?

Oh, what a disgrace I  am.........the path behind me is strewn with broken promises.   I had every intention of writing cheerful little entries every few days but I don't know quite what happened except that I haven't done that atall, atall.  So sorry....... 2000 apologies interspersed with a few shitpissfucks.

Well,, I will get right to it........I am happy to report that my back problem is much improved and I can sleep without pain.  I can also sit on the hard chair at my computer without pain.  Other stuff still hurts but there is no doubt the situation is much better than it was.  Trouble is, I have to be very careful with each move and that is a bummer.  My patience with this is all used up and I still have not come up with a plan.  Well, I sort of have a plan which consists of executing a series of yoga stretches several times a day and that does seem to be helping so I am leaning toward booking a physical therapist with yoga training as my next step.  Meanwhile, my mood is dark and dour and I am no fun anymore.

I must admit that I did get a few giggles out of one of the yoga poses which left me amazed as hell that I was able to contort myself into it.  It really helped the sciatica.  It goes something like this.  

Sit on the floor with  legs crossed in front of you.  Arrange the right leg bent at  90 degree angle in front of your body.  Hoist the bod up onto left knee just enough to slide the left leg straight back and stretch it out straight behind you..  At this point the right leg is under your abdomen/ groin, the left leg is stretched out behind,  you are leaning on straigtened arms with head held high.  Now, if you can, stretch arms forward, bring torso forward and rest torso and arms on floor in front of you.

Of course,  the only thing left to do now is have someone sprinkle you lightly with kosher salt and bake till lightly browned all over.  (Spread with mustard and eat while still warm).

So that is what I have been up to about you?

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Better and Better

Thrilled to be able to report that my back has improved a lot......most of the worst of the pain is gone......unless I try to stand up straight which makes for a very ugly sight as I meander from here to there bent over gazing at the floor but at least no screaming to speak of.  I am happily able to sleep thru the nite......getting the bod  hoisted out of the bed in the morning is something of a weird performance and I may never  be able to look anyone in the eye again unless they are willing to lie down on the floor and gaze up at me, but for now getting around Quasimodo style will do.

I have even dared to  venture into the kitchen again and cook up a batch of my incredible Tuscan Bean Soup and when I say a batch I mean monstger cauldrons (2) which enable me to give some away to my eager soup fans while still keeping enough to stuff my face and even freeze some.  I must say that, hunched over the bubbling caldrons stirring away I felt more like Macbeth's 3 witches than ever, but while I did mutter a chorus of "Double, double, toil and trouble" I managed to refrain from adding anything like a toad to the pots.  I really must give credit to Ree Drummond,
The Pioneer Woman Cooks, she sometimes offers up a real culinary winner.

As you have no doubt surmised, writhing on the floor in agony does not always completely kill my appetite though when the spasm of sciatica seizes my fnny and causes my leg to go into a permanent, monster  muscle cramp I do tend to forget about eating while the screams erupt.  Well, all I can say is that this wretched epsode has altered the normal boring tenor of my days.......and right now I am simply expressing gratitude every minute that I am not hurting.

Since my desperate attempt to make my last blog more entertaining by including a snippet of what I call REAL MUSIC was such a success I plan to continue the ploy,,,,,,perhaps is another fabulous Frank Melrose tune played by Ray Skjelbred.  I am determined to keep music with a melody from becoming completely obliterated duing my lifetime.


Saturday, November 9, 2013

Just Checking In

Well, here I am, still kvetching and oy veying but not screaming as often nor as loudly.  We will call that progress.  fact that seems to be what I do the most

Happily, I have been able to  fact, that seems to be what I do the most of.  My next problem will be bed sores.  I have not figured out what steps I will take to get out of this mess......perhaps acupuncture, massage, rolfing, or hitting myself over the head with a club.  I have dragged my gravity lounge out of the corner of the sunroom and set it up in my bedroom.....if you do not know what that is, it is an adjustable lounge that goes back farther than most to let you end up with your head lower than your feet, or with your feet higher than your head....however you prefer to look at it   The theory is that, in that position the pressure is taken off of your vertebrae and should do good things for a person.  It does feel nice, but it has its limitations.....I mean, there is not a lot a person can do while in that position other than just breathe so I tend to get bored easily.

  I really crave one of those machines which lets you completely invert yourself so that you are hanging by your feet, but that gets complicated, expensive  and I think I heard that it may not be good for other parts of you, like your brain which I am very attached to and very protective of.  I am also considering having a chinning type bar installed in one of my doorways so I can hang by my hands and let gravity and my 1000 pounds of blubber extend my spine in a downward fashion and perhaps rearrange the errant vertebrae or disc back into their proper alignment.

That is pretty much as far as I have gotten in solving this problem......not very damned far, but I am grateful that things are better than they were a week or so ago.  All I can say is, I am working on it.  As soon as I find the key I will let you know.  Meanwhile, I feel bad that I cannot serve up some decent blog tidbits.  I may attempt to attach a delightful bit of ragtime piano to this wretched offering but I have little hope that I will succeed in being able to capture the right file  Let's see.

Incidentally, the tune is called "Whoopee Stomp" and was written by the fantastic painistabd composer Frank Melrose.  Frank was my husband, Pete's best friend and the father of my dearest friend, Ida Melrose Shoufler.  I love this and hope you enjoy it too.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

A Ray of Sunshine

Sorry to have kept you all in suspense over my continuing schlepp down the road of life.....for a while there I had no time for frivolities like blogging.....too preoccupied with screams and shrieks.

Do not want to jinx myself, but I am happy to report that I have had a couple of good days, relatively speaking and today I did not even need any pain meds.  Huzzah.   I have been able to get some good sleep in and that is a real blessing.  Hoping to continue climbing out of the torture chamber.  Will try to keep you updated.  Don't write me off.  I ain't done yet.

Had some interesting insights while struggling with pain.......realized how damned little everything else matters.

Love, Lo