Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Still Shlepping, Still Kvetching......

I know, I is eons since I last posted.  I also know full well that I promised to stay in touch weekly........failed miserably at that, didn't I?  So sue me.

Be forewarned that this will not  e a proper post either, but it will have to do for today.  I have still been strugglig with the damned back and last week I had an unwelcome visit from an old enemy.......a dizzy attack from Meniere''s Syndrome, an inner ear imbalance.  Ughm yuck, aaarrrrgggghhhh and most certainly shitpissfuck.

When that happens nothing gets done but a lot of moaning and whimpering.  I think I am coming out of the end of the awful visitation, but I am not inspired to be very amusing right now.  However, my beloved friend, the brilliant, talented Bob Rinwald who sends me daily cheer- ups in the form of jokes.......some good and some not so.......hit my funnybone with today's offering and I decided to share it with all of you.  If I can't make you laugh, perhaps Bob can.

A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck
part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy
a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with
a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under
four conditions.
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once
again it was agreed.
4. And last, Bobby Lee said "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."
-Bob Ringwald K6YBV
916/ 806-9551

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

No Title, No Funny Bits, No Inspiring Thoughts...My Advice Is "Don't Even Bother"

I think I birdied: two model.... Whoops… You should be able to tell that I'm on Dragon again. I have no idea what that opening phrase was supposed to be.   Let's just start over.

Now the problem is that I can't remember what I was going to say….Never mind, doesn't matter….I seem to remember that I promised you absolutely nothing in the title so I can't really disappoint, can I? I think I was going to say something about the fact that I hate the ends of things. And I think I fill with trepidation and unease over the beginnings of things so you can imagine what my mental state must be after being beaten around the head by the end of 2013, and immediately rudely abused by the arrival of 2014.
I really just want to reassure you all that I did manage to crawl the last few yards of 2013 and I seem to be schlepping along into a brand-new year, willy-nilly.   I am still in the Grinch and Scrooge mode, and have no idea when I will be able to flip the switch turning me back into some sort of human being. But in the interim, I want to wish all of you lovely people a very happy, healthy, and peaceful year and beg you to keep putting up with me as long as I have a rant or a giggle left in me.

Bless you. I love you all.   Happy New Year.

(As soon as I can think of something funny, you'll be the first to know.)

Love, Lo