Monday, February 21, 2011

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Ugh!  I am plumb, fresh out of excuses.  I know I haven't blogged for eons and I am ashamed....but not so ashamed that I am able to do something about it.  I keep going to the file drawer in my brain labeled "Acceptable, Sympathy-Provoking Reasons for Not Blogging" and the folder is empty, barren of even a usable crumb.  I stand before you naked (symbolically of course) and vulnerable ......go ahead............throw rocks at me if you must, though I'd really rather you didn't............I abhor the whole idea of Death by Stoning.......in fact I could write a  whole blog about my rage at this revolting, barbaric  method of punishment......invented by cowards who are ignorant brutes  too afraid to indulge in their beastliness alone and must have the company and approval of the other cowards.....grrrrr.  But I digress........

I have spent the past week or so involved in the most unpleasant task of making changes to my Trust and, unfortunately. one cannot do that without having to contemplate ......nay, wallow in and face head-on one's final exit from this stage......that surely is enough to make anyone feel moody, puny and scared.

Furthermore, in the midst of this depressing task I also had to prepare myself and my Guest Suite for the arrival of some visitors.  No one who is not a hermit can properly understand the horror and strain this puts upon a hermit person.  Sadly, it doesn't matter whether or not you love the invaders of one's cave or not .........one has to be available for listening and/or talking and being totally interrupted from ones comfortable routine for a period of time.  Recovery from this usually takes at least twice as long as the visit. Gasp, groan. The torture and conflict are indescribable......on one hand you are tickled to see them and have them here and on the other hand you can't wait to see them...gone.

To make matters worse,  when my guests insisted on taking me out to dinner, instead of falling back on my good old reliable Italian restaurant, I decided we should try a new one that had  been highly recommended.  Disaster ensued, of course.  The unpleasant ambience was only exceeded by the dreadfulness of the food which we all kept assuring each other, with bright, phony smiles,  wasn't that bad when actually it was WORSE.  And, in order to keep up the pretense, I had to bring home in a doggy bag the uneaten remains of my dinner and suffer from the memory the next day when I opened the frig and my eyes fell upon the container.......the best part of that whole dining experience was that I got to enjoy throwing the garbage into the garbage where it belonged.

Well, you get the idea, and maybe I have managed to subtly generate an excuse for my absence after all.  Hopefully,  surely I have generated a bit of sympathy.  Or, maybe not.......

Needless to say, I am still in the recovery stage.  Not at all sure that I will ever emerge from same but keep tuned just in case.

Footnote to my beloved friends and family:
If any of you happen to read this, please understand that the above does not mean that you are not welcome to my cave.......it just explains why I have to keep lying down a lot.  Hermits are weird and need lot of understanding........ especially Gemini hermits..