Thursday, December 3, 2009
Blumenthal Luck Vanquishes Murphy's Law
I am still recovering from my wild excursion to Irvine, but I feel I MUST make a brief comment on that amazing day.......amazing because, on a sojurn fraught with possible perils at every turn, I seem to have emerged not only unscathed but almost rejuvenated. For years I have been the decripit pin-up girl for Murphy's Law but tuesday's jaunt via subway and train made me blush with shame at my......well, I am not sure if I should call it outright pessimism but I guess I could call it resigned stoicism. Starting with my desperate attempt to find a parking space in a full Metro lot everything went (*can you believe?) perfectly ! My first 2 tours of the lot were a disaster but at the last moment before going home in defeat I spotted a gap in a handicapped parking section and crammed my car in there hoping that my handicapped placard would prevent me from getting a ticket in case it wasn't a true parking space. (you would be amazed at how many spaces in that lot are not actually intended for cars.....I am not quite sure what the hell they are for since the messages painted between the lines are nearly worn off......oh well.) With much trepidation I hung my handicapped placard and dashed out to find the elevator only 3 steps away. ( How could this be?) Once inside I grappled with the machine that dispenses tickets and had another spell of panic when I could not figure out which buttons to push. Being partially blind does not help a person when the person is confronted with a new electronic gadget I can tell you, especially since I had come unequipped with my usual indispensible tools....a flashlight in one hand and the magnifying glass in the other. "How does a person accomplish anything when one has both hands full of tools?"........ you may well ask......the answer, of course is, "not very damned well". Anyway, in lieu of tools, a living, breathing Metro Worker appeared at my side and pushed a few buttons revealing a screen that offered me a ride as a Senior Citizen for the handsome sum of 25 cents. Holy crap....how lucky can an ancient person be? I even had a quarter in my wallet..... Tottering along toward the platform, I hardly had a moment to fret about whether I would be in time for my Amtrak train when the gorgeous, gliding subway appeared and whisked me to Union Station. I am NOT going to draw this out agonizingly.....suffice it to say, I encountered my next miracle when I inserted my prepaid computer receipt into another infernal machine, stabbed at a button or two and watched it spit out my ticket and return ticket without eating either of them. AND instead of having to schlepp down the long corridor to Track #9 (....Boy, you can give me a shine.....) a little shuttle car appeared and scooped me up and drove me right to the platform in a twinkling, whereupon the train to Irvine appeared instantly as if someone had waved a magic wand. If you suspect that I have bruises all along one side from my pinching myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming you would be right. In fact I actually suspected that I must have died somewhere along the way and that this was heaven. Anyway, we arrived in Irvine absolutely on time, my friends were actually waiting there for me and even recognized me (How could they not....I had warned them I would be wearing a bright blue velour jogging suit and....hell...how many fat little old ladies could there be on the same train in that raucous outfit???) We had a lovely lunch during which I did NOT dribble down the front of my ample bosom, cofee and a long chat at Murie's house and, apart from the small social blunder of boring my hostess to the point where she dozed off in the middle of one of my sentences I don't think I disgraced myself too much. Funny......this was my first experience at boring someone into unconsciousness and I had to stop blabbing briefly to decide on the proper thing to do. I mean.....do you keep talking as if nothing happened or stop in mid- utterance and wait for the eyelids to flicker open before continuing???? I could not recall ever reading in Emily Post what the proper behavior would be in such a case so I just gabbled on and figured she would not even notice that she had missed a few sentences.....sigh. (Besides, Cy was still awake though I think he had turned his hearing aid off somewhere after my first few utterances.....I dunno.....) All in all it was wonderful to spend those few hours with Murie and Cy from the Good Old Days.....how grand that we are all still alive and able to communicate......does it count as communication when one person is talking, one is sleeping and the other is ruminating in self-inflicted hard-of hearing-ness?) To cut to the conclusion, the day continued in that incredible unblemished manner....return trip was on time,uneventful and pleasant and I even found my car with NO ticket on it. I figure I have used up all of my good luck for the rest of the year if not the rest of my life......Of course, I now have some trepidation about venturing out of the house for fear that Murphy has taken control again, but it was great while it lasted. Needless to say I needed 12 hours rest and sleep to recuperate.....Not only did I not get to lie down for more than 14 hours, but I walked, climbed stairs and performed numerous other incredible feats. It was, to put it mildly a very good Day. Sigh.