As my loyal followers know, I have been afflicted with a strange blogging paralysis recently which has seriously impeded my ability to blog. Being a neophyte to the Sport I have had no tools to cope with this malady and no understanding of what might be causing my condition. Today while browsing among other high class blogs trying to get either inspired or enlightened I found a number of fellow souls who have been afflicted with a thing they are all calling Bloggers Brain. The description of the symptoms are rather ambiguous, but they sound a lot like mine so I unearthed my flogging device from under the couch, where the cats seem to have dragged it, and have been applying it to my plump backside forcing myself to research this situation in order to find a way out. Hmmmm, flogging for blogging....that was purely accidental...I wish I could say that it was intentional...it might indicate that the pitiful thinking organ might be reviving a bit. No such luck, I fear. Sob.
As far as I can determine, Bloggers' Brain seems to be a dumbing down or damming up or general deconstruction of the mind and, more important, the funny-bone which can leap upon unwary Bloggers at any moment and render them helpless , hapless and blogless. Well, it is SOME comfort to know that I am not alone in this abominable state, but I am devastated to note that I found lots of company but no solutions.
Damn and phooey is all I can say. The pursuit of happiness is a breeze compared to the pursuit of funniness...talk about elusive, it does not bear even thinking about because, like Lot's wife, the mere act of casting your gaze back onto the will-o-the-wisp of humor can end up turning you into a pile (yes I know, it was a pillar, wasn't it?) of salt or, more likely in my case s..t.
So here I sit, a person who normally can find something to giggle about in the most mundane or unfunny situations, going through my emails, many of which are prefaced with "LOL's", "this made me laugh", "really funny" and so forth and finding not one reason to show my dimples......all entries destined for the Delete key immediately, because there is not much worse than finding yourself totally unamused by stuff that is causing everyone else is to wet their bloomers. (Being an ancient person that particular subject is a bit delicate and will possibly be dealt with in a later blog when my sense of the ridiculous has returned.) Anyway, I do see a glimmer of some hope in the simple fact that when the word "funny" no longer has any meaning, the words Gripe, Complain, Rant, Rave, Whine, Groan and Growl are still viable options in the blogging world. So brace yourselves, dear ones, for what you may have to put up with until humor is revived in this sadly afflicted mind. You can denounce me, vilify me or even stone me for depriving you of your fun.......just don't abandon me, please.........this sudden stupidity is not really my fault...... blame it on an attack of Bloggers' Brain.
Dispatches From The Crust
6 hours ago