On April 19, 2011, Mike, of "Too many Mornings" posted a fantastic piece in which he plays around brilliantly with the word "time" and all different uses and concepts thereof.
Nearly every other sentence pleads to be quote of the day, but for some reason, it was one of the Comments and Mike's reply that stuck in my mind long after I had wiped my nose on my sleeve and blotted away the tears of laughter from reading and rereading. Here, discussing the time anomalies of "mindblowing sex is what really did me in:
It’s supposed to last several hours. It usually lasts about 20 minutes. It feels like 20 seconds.
When you think about it, it’s a lot of effort for a very small payoff.
Having briefly dabbled on the fringes and edges of what might be called borderline nymphomania in my much younger life, I have often thought the same thing and wondered if anyone else ever had that same thought.
Don't misunderstand me, please........this is not a rant against sex. (Do you think I am totally and hopelessly batshit crazy???? If I ever decide to commit suicide by bringing the entire blogging and cyberworld down on me swinging hatchets, maces,chains, swords, rolling pins, tire irons, cleavers, chain saws, Wagner cast iron skillets, daggers, hat pins and canisters of pepper spray I might publish THAT rant, but that is definitely not my intention right now.)
But when you think about it, notice how many things that we do have payoffs that are so fleeting, ephemeral and last so briefly one cannot help but wonder if they are worth the bother and the risk of the often damaging results.........as a wretched but honest example of the addictive personality, I point out that Smoking was often a bore and a pain after the first puff or two......... Eating chocolate mousse is ecstasy at first nibble, but somewhere, before the last morsel is devoured, nausea and deep regret are already emerging from the wings to take center stage..........Booze is a magical potion as the first sip zips through your veins, relaxes every tense muscle, dispatches every gnawing pain and turns you into the incredibly gorgeous, witty, scintillating creature you always dreamed was inside you. The last sip often will not even stay all the way down and turns you into the horrible, disheveled, pungent mess you always feared might be the real you. We will not even pursue this scenario to the next morning.....all of my followers are way ahead of me here, I am sure. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
So, the obvious question here is, "Why do we do it?". If you have been hanging on my every damned word thinking that I was going to present you with The Answer, you are pathetically deceived. I only know that, in each and every one of my addictions, that blessed indescribable moment was enough to keep me hooked and coming back for longer than I like to admit, but was not enough, ultimately, to keep me from sadly rejecting the whole vicious circle before it did me in for good.
I did have one strange thought recently which I will toss into this odd dish of sweet and sour musings.........I wondered if it is possible, at the moment of our death even as we are still moving toward the light, if that wonderful ecstasy may be experienced again as we drop all of the anxieties, fears, worries, guilts, shames and burdens at the exit door......the idea strikes me as possible, plausible, logical and......my idea of heaven.
I think I will keep that one on file.