Sunday, February 17, 2013

Going To Pot and I Don't Mean That Kind....

Oh dear oh dear, oh dear!  Here's a Lo you may not have met before.  Truly dejected.  My vision is so bad that I can no longer draw anything.  My hearing is going downhill and I am becoming one of those wretched old ladies who keeps shouting, "Speak up, speak up  dammit, why is everyone mumbling and whispering?"  I would sell my soul AND my body for one of those old fashioned ear trumpets.....it would fit my current image perfectly.  I am just a handful of  stale crumbs of my former self. OY GEVALT, I cannot believe this is me whining like this.  Even Pollyanna  moans and groans sometimes.
 
 I think my soul is spoiled too. I must have left it on the kitchen counter one nite and forgotten to put it in the frig and it has turned sour, curdled, with horrid black and green mold growing all over it.  I am not sure it can  be saved. Perhaps tomorrow I will try and see if there is any hope of salvaging anything underneath the mold on the surface.......aaaaarrrrggghh.

And that lovely blue flame that  burned in its niche below my rib cage has gone out. Kaput.  I took a look today and there is nothing there but a cold grate and a few  burnt matches underneath.  I do not know what I did with the directions (if I ever had any) so I have no clue about how to light it again.  

All of this does not bode well for Lois, I am afraid. And yet I fear one does not die of these calamities......I just don't know how one keeps on living when your soul has curdled and your fire has gone out.   Perhaps it is like an oven thermocouple.......when you turn the knob the thermocouple heats up and when it is hot enough the gas valve opens and the gas comes on and the hot thingy ignites it.  Now all I need to do is figure out where the oven control is........ 

......and yet.........there may still be a spark or smouldering ember somewhere because I have been driven to sing today and, I think I may not have completely ruined my so-called voice with those damned singing lessons after all.  Actually, I went to the ENT doctor the other day and found that nothing was terribly wrong........a slight infection which antibiotics should cure, some inflammation which might go awayif I shut up for a while, and a lot of heavy mucous from my post nasal drip which might respond to Mucinex.  Omigod....I have been watching those revolting TV ads for years now and never dreamed that I would fall so low as to have to take that product in order to banish all those wretched green, lumpy creatures from my esophagus and voice box.  Sigh.  Will there be no end to my deterioration?  Guess not, but, as I said, I was inspired to pipe a few notes today and I found I kind of liked the hoarse, throaty quality which has overtaken my sweet, dulcet tones.  Perhaps I shall simply give up the Mucinex and see what happens.

I must confess, during my wretchedness I have been playing around with recording some of my warbling and am finding it most......hmmmm..... amusing....... and sometimes totally horrifying.   There is nothing quite as humbling as hitting an awful clinker and bursting out laughing in the middle of recordinga heartfelt ballad.  If I can ever learn how to transfer my recording to this blog I may just include one of those less than memorable performances for your amusement.  You have been clamoring for it....I should punish/reward you by doing it.  But how?

Which brings me to the most important poin of this soggy excuse for a blog.....assuming I recover from this curdling of the soul and such.  Which of you dear folk out there is willing to help me, guide me, instruct me.....dumkopff that I am.....in how to go about transferring an audio file to a blog?  (No, my dears, I have no intention of trying to make a video of my singing.......seeing me in my bathrobe and slippers crooning away over my coffee and bran flakes would destroy any illusions you may have about me.......perhaps later on, but not now.)

I am quite serious about asking for your help.  I know a lot of you include audios and videos in your blogs so I know it is possible.  The question is....is it within the realm of possibility for ME?

Any and all advice will be welcomed eagerly and gratefully.  My thanks will be boundless.   I may even sing for you.

Love,   What Once Was Lo 
 



19 comments:

  1. Take a video, but sing in the dark.

    Do I have to start talking politics to relight your fire...don't make me do it...oh hell here goes:

    GEORGE BUSH!!!!!

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  2. Oh, Joe, my darling.......you sure know how to take care of me.....I think I feel a glow of rage at just that name.

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  3. ...and for good measure, "Mitt. Mitt. He's my man!"

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  4. Lo, I salute you for this wonderful honest post.
    I often feel less than chipper and would love to blog the truth but feel maybe nobody would like it.
    Old age is insurmountable, cruel and the pits.
    I just love your intelligent and interesting posts and look forward to you conquering the audio so that I can hear your voice.
    Hugs
    Briony
    x

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  5. First: Buy a lightbox that generates a kind of light that makes your brain light up.
    Second:There's a site called "Acidplanet" where you can upload audifiles but I forget how to do it...helpful I know.

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  6. I don't know how to do the audio thing but I sure hope you figure it out. I want to hear your voice!

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  7. Sorry, my friend ~ I'm no help on the audiofiles thing...

    Go look at your little froggy again ~

    Big Hugs ~~~

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  8. Just thought, if you have a mobile phone that takes pictures you could sing on that and just take lovely shots of the garden at the same time.
    Briony
    x

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  9. You could use video -- the actual video can be of any sights you choose, and the audio of you. Then put it on YouTube and post a link here, or embed it here.

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  10. I have been yelling at my wife for a few years to speak up and now I notice my wife is yelling back to quit mumbling and speak more clearly. Great post you put up today. Keep singing and yelling too if you want.

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  11. Sorry, I don't know how to do audio either. I appreciate the honesty of your post, and the imagery of heat and light. The lightbox idea might be a good one...even though you live in a much sunnier place than I do, it doesn't help if you can't be outside in it. Using the box each day might indeed brighten your spirits. All the best.

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  12. I had a hearing test a couple of years ago... BECAUSE... I told my husband that if I had good hearing HE was going to have to quit mumbling. If my hearing was bad I'd take measures to correct it. I passed.... he still mumbles and I still bi... no no no... complain. So... sing as loud as you like. Make audios... just have joy!

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  13. I've been dwelling on some of these same subjects myself of late. And wondering why they called these the "golden years."....

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  14. Joe had a good idea and I'll pick up on it. Check out my post on Troutbirder dated Feb12. A little Percy Shelly and a lot of George Bush. If the poem and the pictures don't fire you up there's a serious problem....:)

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  15. Hey, you can film the hummingbirds while you are singing and upload to Youtube. You can even find me there under the name "oscilis".

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  16. Well... you're sense of humor will certainly still be going after your soul goes wherever souls go ... laughing all the waaaaay.

    that's how I picture me ... leaving this ol world with a ... what the hell and here we go attitude ... I wonder if reincarnation is true.

    If it is? I've put my order in to be any of the following: Eagle, squirrel or hummingbird... cat would be nice. I like cats. BUT I don't want to be a homeless cat ... stray. I don't want to kill for my food. ew

    IF ... as I currently believe ... we just convert to energy and carry on with nature... I want to be wind. or a river. rivers constantly run ... and the wind is always moving about.

    I have also requested that I just wake up dead. I don't do pain well. I don't mind the dying ... it's the going. boo

    Hah! George and Mitt get you going do they? HAHAaaaa.. oh, lord... John Bonehead gets me going... I want to listen to the President speak but then look who's sitting to his right .. well, his left but my right.

    I put up a hand fan to block him.... ew

    I'm eating pecans ... think I'll have an orange to go with them. life is good. well, I'm not Michelle Bachmann ~ that's good...

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  17. After I sent you an email nothing happened. Next I went back to what could be blocked and after I unblocked a Tom Sightings your profile pooped up briefly and then vanished. When I go to your followers page I don't appear either though it says at my end I do.

    Now where has my comment to you disappeared to? I mentioned that I was looking to buy a camera so I could view old movies reclaimed from a house fire. The camera never made it back.

    Do we have some sort of cyber space issue? AOL?

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  18. Piece of cake. Do it, email me, and I'll give instructions based on type of recording... now, drink a hot toddy, go to bed, and get better. You'll be amazed how fast your soul returns.

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