Monday, October 13, 2014

what the fark… What the fork .....what the flock…… What the F you see Kay?


As you can see I am having a terrible time teaching Dragon my favorite dirty words. This newer version seems to have a built-in editor, which refuses to accept new words that begin with, end with, or contain the letters "F UCK". I sneaked that one past it by spelling out capital letters. Why Dragon needs a censor is totally beyond me, but then almost everything is the day… Totally beyond me. That is.

Actually, I am writing this blog to explain to you my dear followers why I don't simply correct the errors that Dragon makes, and to do that I have to give you a short course in the mechanics of my vision. I'm going to print a letter on the not… The letter "O" will be a good example.
        

                                        "O"

The space inside that O is a little larger than my field of vision in my good  . I… No no no… What we want here is the word "E why he"… I think I'd better.type it.…eye.  The left eye has no central vision… Only peripheral vision. So it is useless in any detail work like reading or seeing a morsel of food on my dinner plate that is any larger than a lentil. Not only is the field of vision  very small, but it also has a thin film of of something like a white  mist obscuring its clarity. So that's what I have to work with.

Now someone has suggested that instead of leaving the gobbledygook that Dragon sometimes produces, I should go back and correct it. There are two problems with that idea. First, what would be the fun in that? Most of the humor that I dish up lately is due to Dragon's misinterpretations. Frankly, I love my blogs as interpreted by dragon and refused to give them up just to make things easier for you guys. Secondly, and you'll have to try to get your mind around this, when I am looking at an error that Dragon has made it means I have to bring the cursor to the spot of the error. Needless to say, when I am looking at the error. The cursor is not within my field of vision. If I move my eyes to the spot where the cursor is. I then have to move them back to the spot of the error to judge the distance the cursor has to travel and continue with this back and forth motion until I've managed to bring the cursor to the error. As you all know, at this point, the cursor is no longer a nice black arrow or even a puny white little hand, it is simply of small vertical line. You have no idea how long it takes to locate that vertical line and position it correctly to correct the error. Take it from me, it is agony and if I had a better way of doing it. Believe me, I would.

Of course, there are many commands in the Dragon lexicon that I could probably use to make this process easier, but since reading is so difficult for me. I just haven't done it yet. There is one command that I know that is called ", U, and Dio… No no no… How could you not know on do…,, Sigh… "undo". (Dammit, do I have to do everything for you?). Anyway, back to the command which I will not attempt to verbalize again, I did use it a couple of times, intending to simply erase the last word that I wrote, and instead any race almost the entire document I had written. There is no future in that I can tell you. One of these days I will tie Florence to the chair and force her to read to me some of the instructions and commands I sorely need, but I don't feel like doing that today.

I am glad that a few of you agree with me that Dragon has greatly improved my blog. This or at least given them a tantalizing flavor. They didn't have before. I know it's a dreadful decision to impose upon you, but you simply have to choose between gobbledygook blogs or no blogs Abdul up up up up… And all… At all. Frankly, I liked Abdul much better.  come on now, be honest,didn't you?.

I hope that makes everything perfectly clear… No pity. Please… Just understanding. Okay?.

15 comments:

  1. Dragon has given your post a certain je ne sais quoi!!

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  2. Until you slay the dragon, we are all grateful that is allows you to post and yes sometimes it does add some humor.

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  3. Like I said a few posts ago, you can make a party of anything, Lo. I doubt Dragon would be as entertaining in most people's hands as it is in yours. I hope you carry on carrying on :)

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  4. I hope you are enjoying the dragon as much as we; please keep on. We need our kitty updates, as well as Lo updates.

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  5. Yes, dear lady, the posts are easy to read and you are doing a remarkable job with the DL. Remember, if you tie Florence to a chair, don't put the duct tape over her mouth because then she can't read out loud to you. LOL
    I see you finally taught DL the F word. Congratulations.

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  6. I think Dragon has added a new and humorous twist to your blog ~
    Keep up the great work!!
    Hugs ~

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  7. Just keep on keeping on! Do the best you can with what you have! :)

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  8. Reading your blogs in any form is fun! There's no reason i can't read through typos and even enjoy them, just like i do with friends who make them from going too fast, or those for whom English is not their first language.

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  9. I got so intruqued about this Dragon that I looked it up. it said
    'its command capabilities and user-friendliness still earns it our Top Ten Reviews Silver Award'.
    I don't car about the mistakes, you make me laugh Lo and in this oddball world its woth a lot.
    Briony
    x

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  10. Lo, please just continue as you are, and I'll be happy to read it. I was happy to see "up up up" because I think that is Dragon's version of you laughing, so now I am laughing, too.

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  11. Some of the most poorly written blogs are by people with 20/20 vision. Lo, even with Dragon, your blog is my favorite!

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  12. Your posts since you have tried the latest Dragon are wonderful. Yes there are things mistyped but it is very easy to follow along and I can almost always tell what happened with the Dragon doing the wrong thing which is funny. I love the up up up when you laugh. Keep it up!

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  13. Dragon is somewhat like iphone's auto-correct and does make for some hilarious mistakes... I wouldn't worry about it at all and I really doubt that you do. ; )

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  14. I've been inspired by your "taming of the dragon" Lo. My own sight is deteriorating with age, and you give me hope that it doesn't have to mean the end of doing things I like.

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  15. I'm enjoying everything you "cobble" together and post!!

    Hugs.

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