Friday, July 29, 2011

My Blog Title Says It All

Hmmmm.......just when I had reconciled myself to the sad fate of gimping around in pain for the rest of my days due to my bum knee, the logical, organized bully who lives in one corner of me dragged me off to consult with a knee specialist.  While my hip surgeon had been somewhat dubious about my having a knee replacement at my age, this guy pooh poohed that and told me that knee replacements had originally been developed for people in their 80's and 90's who still had enough oomph to want to be mobile and they were so successful that younger and younger people have been taking advantage of them ever since.  That was heartening to hear and I left his office gung-ho to have the surgery in September.

Unfortunately, as soon as I got home and thought about the week in the hospital after surgery with the pain and the relentless physical terrorists and the two weeks in a rehab facility with same  plus the technician who comes each morning at 5 am and drones mournfully, " I have come to take your bloooood" like a paid vampire,  (before I left she had taken almost all of my blooood)..... the coward in me grabbed the reins back and is forcing me to reconsider.  I imagine I will probably still go ahead with it, but I realized I have to finish off a few items before I return to being an invalid for a while.

I have suddenly lost all my enthusiasm and am considering hiding out somewhere under an assumed name.  Unfortunately, I know that my knee is only going to get worse and I am only going to get older so it does seem like it should be done as soon as possible.......shit, piss, fuck! 

What I need is someone who is able to put me in a trance for, say, 3 months and bring me out of said trance as the home visiting therapist departs for the last time........ If any of you have such skills, I will be very interested in talking to you and making tempting offers.  Meanwhile, I cannot vouch for the tone or quality of my will have to visit this site at your own risk. 

Of course, it will be a good time for afghans.........


  1. Come on....mother had her hip done last year and now, at 95, she's getting her knee done. Her specialist reckons that will give her another ten years of being able to be independent!
    No, she's not looking forward to the she says, their enthusiasm is enough to wear you out before you start...but if she can do it, so can you.
    But I'd be feeling the same way as you...a certain lack of enthusiasm...

  2. Since I have been told on numerous occasions that I am capable of giving trances (i.e., long phone calls inevitably result in my hearing snoring at the other end -- and, I know for a fact, it couldn't be the stories I'm telling!), I volunteer to get you through this. And, if push comes to shove, I can also cook up a brew or two that would at least take the edge off the pain and put it directly into the surgeon's, uh, ummmm, well, you can decide where it should go!

    But, based on the afghans I've seen, this is going to become quite a lovely collection. Do it and get ready to hit the harvest dances!

  3. All the people I know who've had it done wonder why they didn't have it done earlier!

  4. I am so sorry to hear it's always something...

    My mum-in-law had both hips done and says it's the best thing she ever did...before she had it done she could hardly get around!

    My own mum had her hip done and says the same thing!

    Now, a knee isn't the same as a hip but having it done is still better than the prospect of decreasing mobility and then lack of independence! And you want to get it done while you are still relatively healthy!

    Hope it inspires you!
    And best of luck!

  5. My friend's mom is 92. She's like you in that she is independent, lively, active and actually pretty healthy. She had hip replacement about 4 months ago. She's getting along beautifully, in fact we took her to lunch last week. Now the knee thing may be different, but I doubt it. She was so glad to get back to being able to walk without pain or a cane. She did spend a couple of weeks with a walker (yeah, I know how appealing that is Lo!), but she really recovered very fast. You are younger than she is and will probably recover even faster than she did. Don't put it off, Honey. It's quality time!

  6. Hate to toss a Wet Blanket on everything - after all the "Positive/Upbeat Posts" but my mom had knee-replacement surgery when she was in her early 80's and - for her - it didn't go well. Not at all. In fact, I suspect it might've been "the beginning of the end" for her.

    Part of the problem was - whatever they used to "put her under" was really nasty stuff and she *really* didn't have a clue who she was/where she was - after she came out of it (really, truly NASTY STUFF).

    And then, she wasn't a very good patient for the Physical Terrorists (who truly were Terrorists!). Had they just taken the time to "ice" her knee - prior to therapy sessions - things might've turned out much differently.

    Her Surgeon was an absolute DREAM, but the PT sessions were a complete disaster, and she never fully recovered from the surgery, unfortunately.

    Again, I hate to be a "Wet Blanket" - but I do adore your posts, Lo, and felt compelled to share "our" experience. I think, if the PT's are gentle (and they "ice' your knee before PT Sessions), you should be okay - but just be aware that this whole Knee Replacement Thing ain't a "walk in the park!!!"

  7. What a wonderful writer you are, such a wonderful, hilarious sarcasm ... I love it! Really, really enjoyed reading your profile too. Hang in there - I definitely think you have the oomph to follow it all through!

  8. Hmmmmm, I also need a knee replacement--one of these days, but from what I've heard I will wait until my pain is not bearable.
    Not wanting to be Ms. Doomsday here, but I find the procedure scary. I think you are wise to be thinking shit, piss, fuck. I mean, it is surgery after all. I've never understood how some can take it so lightly. Yelp, no face lifts here.

  9. HA HA! I say be sure to get lots of prescription medication for pain before the surgery and have at it!

    I have a bum knee from years of roller blading. Now at the gym I can't do a bunch of machines - and I have to wear "comfortable shoes" or my knee turns and I nearly fall down. I am right there with you... can we just pretend our knees are fine, plug our ears and go "la la la laaaa!"

  10. I remeber when my knee was playing me up and the Dr said quite flippantly, 'Oh, we'll just pop a camera in there' it was amazing how quickly it got better.
    Of course I realise your's is a lot worse than mine was but it is all very scary isn't it


  11. I had my right knee replaced a few years ago Lo. It has worked very well. True, the physio is somewhat painful, but they do have some very nice drugs! I was awake for the surgery so could make sure everything was done correctly ... like "measure twice, cut once"! I also heard Elvis singing even tho there was no radio in the room! ;-)

    Have you thought of getting a second opinion? Just for your own comfort and information.

  12. Colorful metaphors deleted, because i'm not supposed to use such language, being a Sunday school teacher and all.

    You, however, may use them all you want, especially with this happening.

    No advice, just good luck and you are in my prayers.

  13. If anyone can do this and come out feeling great, I don't have a doubt that it is you. But it is surgery (not something any of us wish for) and I know rhere is pain involved, So my dear Lo,,whatever you decide, you will be in my prayers, on my mind and in my heart,

  14. Really sorry to hear your news. It really is one thing after another isn't it? Thinking of you. As for the swearing that is likely in future blogs, I'd be doing the same in your situation. x

  15. It IS always something, isn't it? You are one strong woman, so I know you'll handle it, but I'm sorry about all the pain and inconvenience and frustration involved.

  16. It's scary to think of either path. That's the suck-ass thing about getting older, isn't it? It's just so hard and the choices are never clear.
    Well. You do what you think you should and if you trust your doctor, don't let age get in the way.