Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Pome About a Few of the Blights of My Life

You know what I hate?  I hate Emoticons
I find them infantile
and puerile
 and ugly to boot
and that's the troot.
I consider them quite totally offensive
and reprehensive.

I think that the person who invented them
or first presented them
should be forced to have them tatooed over every inch of their epidermis, both exposed and hidden
and then they should be tied naked to the back of a horse and ridden
through the downtown of every city of 50,00 or more regardless of the weather
and people should be encouraged to get together
and throw overripe fruit and tomatoes
and hurl lewd remarks and insults and threats at them
and shame and scare the  bejesus out of them.

And as for the ones people make out of innocent punctuation
they are equally silly, irritating and require eradication.
Only difference is that while being equally deplorable and unadorable
They are at least a bit more ignorable.

So I say Faugh on all who use them.....those "pictures" are for the birds....
What in the hell is wrong with words?

And for my next number
I want to see the complete disappearance of the use of  "lol"
And may everyone who ignores my plea be sentenced to eternally trying to eat an ice cream cone
in Hell.


The grumpy, rhyming Lois has spoken.

73 comments:

  1. The use of LOL in a blog is a deal-breaker for me. Period. The end. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doh! I must remember never to use lol when i comment on your blog, Ms. Moon! I've been trying to cut it out of my diet anyway. Smiley face...

      Delete
  2. :-D Sorry! Couldn't resist!

    Emoticons came about because people found that the things they were typing weren't always understood due to lack of facial expression and tone of voice. Hence ... 8-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This made me laugh out loud! Smiley face!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Boy, you really do dislike emotions. The negative is they always belong to a "drama queen."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very clever, Lo. You made me laugh out loud! *wink*

    ReplyDelete
  6. They were started after a huge brouhaha erupted over a joke posted by someone at a university on some kind of shared board, and were intended to simply let people know something wasn't to be taken seriously. The joke had to do with the leaking of something toxic, i think, in the lab, but it didn't actually happen and was intended to make everyone laugh.

    You are right that they are more irritating than enlightening most of the time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's fun to read a rant that rhymes; I hope you'll do this a few more times. (And now I'm working very hard to resist placing an emoticon right here.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is hilarious, and you are a talented poem writer! I'm still laughing out loud. Now i'm going to go back to my blog post and eviscerate every lol in 'em!

    ReplyDelete
  9. And peurile is a great word. And i meant emoticons there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. dang... well? nice rant. as mentioned above, when someone types something in jest ... it's hard to know that person is jesting unless they put a little ol emoticon in there.

    I think they can be overused, but as a deal breaker? nah ... I've never liked oysters and don't like people slurping 'em down or those who like snails ... picking 'em out of the shells...

    BUT they can certainly eat them and I'll continue to eat with them. But jeeez I don't like watching it.

    We all have our peccadilloes and we can peccadillo away when we're older. I think so.

    I think I dislike the thing immensely. I'd rather have an emoticon. (toothy grin smiley)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well isn't that interesting ... the last sentence of my comment ... I think I dislike thing ... it didn't print... wonder if that's a code thing... hahaa. doing it again

      Delete
  11. okay well now ... what it was, is... the pointy parenthesis with grin inside. Obviously Word Press doesn't like it either. laugh out loud ... seriously

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry, Lo. I did use too many words and was awfully curious as to why that particular phrase didn't print.

      I sincerely apologize and I will respect your request to not comment on your blog.

      I do enjoy reading it very much.

      Delete
  12. Nice poem. I HATE LOLS and stupid faces made of brackets. When I see them I just thing the person is an imbecile. Friends say "oh they help you to see what the person means in a message". I say that if you have such a poor grasp of the English language that you have to resort to emoticons then you're an idiot. And to think that I can't understand your message unless you put a silly sad face made of symbols in it, then you're patronising and insulting me. Grrrrr!

    If someone is jesting then they should just write haha or put an exclamation mark at the end. When I see these LOLs and Emoticons in emails and texts it secretly changes the way I see the person. I think they're puerile, a bit dense, and a little common as well.

    Unless you;re a 14 year old girl with a low-level of education then you shouldn't be using them in my opinion. Rant over.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AND.... whenever I say I hate them there's always some dick who thinks it's funny to use them just to annoy me. Which then makes me secretly despise them.

    If you have a good grasp of the English language then you don't need them.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Complete words are good. And sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Laughing out loud here. Yes, we've gotten too busy it seems for expressing real emotion.

    ReplyDelete
  16. oh how wonderful you are eyesight or not...only post that has me laughing...love it ...
    ...ashamed but honest..I have used them!...don't stike me off please I plead...I plead guilty!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I just found you to my delight. Your poem about emoticons made me howl. I'd like to send it to two former students who are tech nerds to their very bones. I hope this is okay with you--I'll certainly give you attribution. I'll wait a bit for your response, though, just in case. Consider yourself bookmarked and enjoyed.

    ReplyDelete
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