Saturday, June 4, 2011

Dangers of an Empty But Not Idle Mind

When a person gets up into the high decades, a person begins to examine his/her life for glaring  fatal flaws of the soul and embarrassing patches of dubious backsliding or cowardly non-development.  At least, this person does.    I have been ruminating a lot lately and falling into periods of deep introspection.  This has brought me to several unsettling conclusions.
While pondering a few things recently  I realized that all the supposed good deeds I have done in my life may have been done  for all the wrong (like selfish) reasons.  Because, while the intention may be to benefit the other person, the doing of the good deed  makes ME feel good.   So, the question is......am I really a good samaritan or am I a self indulgent wuz?     Oy, Oy......Where do I go from here with this?  Do they still count as good deeds?  Or do they all get reclassified as sinful black demerits?

First, let us  assume for the sake of this blog, that the concept of "heaven" has some basis for belief.   If they are indeed sins I wouldn't stand a chance of getting anywhere near the pearly gates much less gaining entry.  I am shaken to my very foundation by the realization that some of those qualities which I have assigned the name of   "virtues" can just as easily be considered sins  (of the darkest kind).


It also occurred to me that, based on what I understand to exist in the rulebooks of many established religions, the more heinous the sins and the more blackhearted the sinner may be, said  black sheep  gets preferential treatment on getting into heaven if he acknowledges his sins, accepts into his heart the particular Savior, repents and begs forgiveness.  Does this mean then that those who have sinned less often  and less grievously are relegated to the tail end of the line,  perpetually delaying their chances of getting into heaven by having not been evil enough and therefore unable to repent enough.......etc.?

Oh, dear.

Using  this premise then, it appears to me that maybe  the only folks who have been getting  into heaven for quite some time are the dirtiest rottenest scoundrels who are wise enough to take advantage of this loophole thereby getting moved to the front of the line, while those of lesser faults are still cooling their heels in the antechambers or outside the gates altogether.  Now, I know that life is not fair, but this seems to overdo the inequity of things a bit much, wouldn't you say?  Damn!

Hmmmmmm........I am really sorry that I started on this line of thinking in the first place.  It appears that the only way I will get out of this corner that I have painted myself into is to fall back on the blessed argument of symbiosis.........the delightful condition where you sort of get to ask,   "Mmmmm......was it as good for you as it was for me?.....and the other person says, "Mmmmmm....even better."






10 comments:

  1. Yes, good deeds also make you feel good, and that doesn't make them sins, at least in my mind. It is part of the joy of doing the good, which is why it is more blessed to give than to receive.

    As far as the other question, in most religious traditions of that type i have studied, i believe the idea is that everyone is equally guilty before a perfect Divine Being, thus every sin, large or small, equally cuts you off from the favor of said Divine Being until you repent.

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  2. Believing in neither heaven, hell, or "God", I'm not much good to you...

    However ~ what's done is done; no way to go back and change it ~

    So there is no point in worrying about it.

    Sending you thoughts for clarity and comfort ...

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  3. Dang this is heavy thinking. I believe I'll simply continue has I always have and hope for the best; but if that dirty scoundrel crowds me in line you can believe that I will raise HELL!

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  4. Having had real miracles in my life, and you are included in those Lo, I know that somebody bigger than you and I intervened. I try to do what's right, but I know I will never reach perfection,,,When I get to that level I will know I have made it "home." Home for me is Heaven.

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  5. I think we worry too much! "God" is "Dog" in a mirror and doesn't dispise anyone or our attempts to do something positive.

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  6. Hi Lo,
    If I were making the rules, worrying about whether your motives were pure enough would surely count for something!

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  7. Your post helps me to understand what "Dangers of an Empty But Not Idle Mind" really is, and i will surely recommend it to other people.It`s really very informative post.
    Thanks for posting.

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  8. I am afraid I don't believe in sin--just choices that people make. Some choices are way better informed and more decent than others.

    Love you, Lo.

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  9. Was this as good for you writing as it was for my reading? (chicken/egg/omelette) because, for just a minute, I was afraid you were going to say that lawyers got into heaven.... whoosh!

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  10. I am quite sure that "Heaven" will be delighted to have you. ;)

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