Thursday, October 13, 2011

What I Know For Sure,,,,,Is Within These Parentheses ( )

I keep seeing books and blogs by people who have apparently found all the answers or even some of them.....Titles like "This I Know For Sure"  and "Two True Things" or whatever, and I'll tell you, I take my hat off to those people who can state unequivocably  that they are sure about something.

Now I, for instance, have recently realized that I am not sure of anything any more.  Strange, because when I was Forty something I was sure I had everything figured out.  (I was really an arrogant prick for a while back then)  I look back and see so many of my absolute truths that have gone bad on me over time and that I have had to discard or thought I had discarded......, kinda like those small containers of food that get pushed, forgotten,  to the back of the fridge shelf and, when discovered, are displaying questionable spots of green or red mold making it impossible to even guess what they once were.  All you can be pretty sure of is that you probably should get rid of them once.

The other day I  was thinking that the time has come when a person cannot read a publication or listen to a news program and have any confidence whatsoever that what is being told to us with the utmost false sincerity is anything but just hype....a bundle of lies concocted by spin doctors with nothing but the prepositions in the sentences remaining trustworthy and at all dependable.    ( wrong can after, at ,by, down, for, from, in, on,  etc. be ....without a noun or a verb I believe we can be fairly sure they remain blameless?)    I suddenly realized  something shocking .  There are so many things that we accept as "absolute truth" that are so obviously absurd and insane that I don't understand why we haven't all risen up in riotous protest, burned books and stoned the offenders who have implanted these devilish worms of thought in our brains. 

With nothing making any sense to me at all any more my deep introspections have revealed to me something I should have thought of a long time ago....... we have completely accepted premises that our minds and our senses tell us is a bucket of bull crap.  I think I have finally arrived at one new truth.
Ladies and Gentlemen........THE WORLD IS REALLY FLAT.

Now just think about it for a minute.

Never mind  Christopher Columbus and all that shit.  He could have very easily have sailed right off the edge of the earth if he hadn't been lucky enough to bump into America or the islands off the coast. I'll bet a lot of those guys who sailed west to get to the East Indies and were never heard of again DID sail right off the edge of the earth.

Hell, just go for a drive across the world round or flat, just tell me?  Take a cruise and convince yourself and me that the ocean that you see stretching endlessly out there is really on a curved surface.  Climb the highest mountain and when you peer out into the distance, aside from a few protruberances like other mountains,  what is out there?  Nothing  but Flat, flat, flat.

Now just think about this for a minute.......there are only recently a handful of human  beings who claim they have zipped out into distant space and looked back and seen this blue marble thingy and sent back pictures of it and have established beyond doubt that the earth is round..........yeh, yeh.....and we are supposed to believe them 'cause pictures don't lie.  Ha!(What about PhotoShop? )  And how do we know that  blue marble is the Earth?     I am not sure they are any more  believable than the people who claim that the moon landing never happened and it was all done on a movie sound stage in Burbank.

Just think for a minute  about the fact that we are told that, with the earth being round and all, that about half of the people on the planet are actually living their lives hanging upside down by their feet.   Got the picture?   And what is holding them on and keeping them all from flying off into space????  An invisible thing called gravity, we are told.  Can't see it, can't feel it but that is what makes Australians think they are right side up and perfectly fine, when, in fact, none of them have ever been right side up except  possibly Crocodile Dundee who visited NY and the one or two Aussies who may have vactioned in Maine or Canada.  What is keeping all those Aussies from having a constant dizzy, headachey feeling is also a puzzle to me. It, too, is attributed to gravity, but I know how I feel when I have been in an inverted Yoga pose  for just a few minutes and I don't know about that gravity thing at all.

And it gets even worse..........the Scientists tell us we are wrong in thinking the sun revolves around the Earth.  In truth,they say,  the Earth and a bunch of other big rocks all revolve around the sun which does nothing but just sit there burning away.  Well, if that is true how come I see the sun come up just beyond my lime tree in the left corner of the back yard every morning and I often watch it set way out on the right edge of the Pacific Ocean in the evening...down it after day probably just about the spot where the ocean is fighting to keep from running off the edge of the earth.  (I haven't figured that part out yet about the oceans.)    So who is crazy?

They tell us that the Earth not only revolves around the sun, but that it spins on its axis and does a complete turn on itself every nite (that supposedly explains sunrise and sunset) while it is also spinning in it's orbit around the sun, a feat that takes a year to complete and that explains Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter because one part of the orbit is closer to the sun than the rest of it, making summer hotter than winter.   As  far as I am concerned that doesn't explain anything especially, with all that spinning around, how come we aren't all staggering off the sidewalks and falling down in the gutters all the time  without having imbibed a single drop of intoxicating beverage?

Hmmmmm.  Pretty tatty....all of it, I'd say.    I think we have all been seduced into believing a lot of garbage even before this current crop of Fox news hit the fan and I have decided I am going to start making up my own truth from now on.  Anyone who cares to join me is more than welcome.  I'll bet we can create a better reality than the one we are stuck in.  How could we not?


  1. This is great! And I think we DO create our own reality each and every day.

  2. I enjoy Fox but watch with a bit of cynicism. I watch MSNBC with a load of astonishment. The question that really concerns me this evening is this:

    Are the earwigs swarming where you are? That is what matters to me right now.

  3. I have wondered about some of these thigs...not all of them..My mind get's a bit boggled trying to make sense of what we are to believe,,or not. You are probably the most learned person I know, so whatever theories you come up with, I'm with you!

  4. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Ecclesiastes 1:2

    Looks like others have felt the same way as you, Lo.

  5. Lo, you are a delightful little rabblerouser, aren't you?


    I, too, used to know absolutely everything. Just pushing 50, it's amazing how much I STILL know, but I am aware, almost daily, of how much of what I believed to be true is actually quite nebulous...


  6. I always get a little angry with folks like scientist that claim, "We know that..." They of all people should know better and that they will be "proven wrong" within a few years...

    The dead-certain religious ones are the same way.. "Don't bother me with proof" (well it's not provable anyway).

    Add "Act of God"... how does one actually "prove beyond reasonable doubt" that an insurance claim for damages should be denied because it was an "Act of (an unprovable) God"?

  7. The line of thinking that i know i'm wrong on some points, but just don't know which ones yet, is the reason why, when i get to heaven i want to sit at the Lord's kitchen table with a good cup of coffee and laugh at everything i was mistaken about.

  8. Which explains why I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster...

  9. This I know for sure - "Nobody Knows Anything" (William Goldman).

  10. I am both amazed and amused.......below is a headline that appeared this very day in my AOL mail "News" mishigoss....

    "11 Common Myths You Thought Were True "

    Not one of the 11 is nearly as interesting as what I reveal above, but the timing is fascinating, dontcha think?

  11. I think the world IS flat, but that doesn't mean some people aren't hanging off the bottom of it.

  12. "...but I know how I feel when I have been in an inverted Yoga pose for just a few minutes and I don't know about that gravity thing at all."

    You can do an inverted Yoga pose??? 8-/
    I'm not sure where to put that in the "true meter"! One thing I'm absolutely positively sure of tho, is that I'm no longer sure about anything except being ignorant about much!

    (phew! I'm also sure that that is a strange sentence structure!)

  13. Interestingly, a newspaper article this weekend reminded me of the manipulation of the press during WWII...FDR's handicap, a tanker sunk of Cambria and others. We are all manipulated in one way or another. Best to educate ourselves as much as possible to make informed decisions then have a cool one out in the garden and enjoy life.

  14. Wait! Who told you the Earth wasn't flat? Was I sleeping during that course? Next thing you know, you'll be saying Rock 'n' Roll music is too loud! Gheexhz, Lo....

  15. I must admit that I too was duped about the shape of the world. After you explain it, I feel humbled and humiliated. Never has skepticism been more healthy and obvious, and yet I was not skeptical because I was told that in this case skepticism was not needed.

    It is a brilliant strategy. Make a up a wild tall and before you tell it, admonish your audience against the mistake of skepticism.

    Hmm. I wonder in what other areas of life this technique is employed?