Monday, March 8, 2010

Crutches Complicate Life

My beloved cousin Rob just had knee surgery and Jess, his wife sent an email to update interested parties about his condition. 

One of the advantages of being such an ancient person is the fact that you usually get to experience a lot of different things in a long life and can therefore empathize, sympathize and share about many aflictions and joys that your dear ones experience.  Also true regarding Knee Surgery so I decide to reply and offer a tip or two that I had learned during my own knee surgery a few years ago.

There are one or two difficulties one encounters when living alone as a sort of hermit.  There are also innumerable advantages, but, on the minus side, one of the very worst has been when I am on crutches for one reason or another and realize that I need a third if not a fourth arm and hand.  You never question the  design of  Humans with only 2 hands until you are on crutches and realize the degree of your helplessness.
Anyway, in my usually ruthless fashion I decided to give advice whether it was wanted or not and wrote the following email to Rob.  For anyone faced with the Crutch in their future it might be helpful to make a mental note of my suggestion.

Incidentally, my letter contains a brand new Family Note....I finally figured out something about who falls where among the generations of our family.  It only took me 82 years to figure out that, rather than really being an only child,  I have had symbolic brothers and a sister for years.  Oh, happy day !.
The photo shows Herself, Rob and my Mamma.
Hi Jess and Rob

Thanks so much for keeping me in the loop on Rob's surgery. I am so glad it is over and that he is home and shlepping around, crutches or not. Oy, the sore armpits....I know, I know. I had knee surgery some years ago and the crutches were the worst part of it plus the inability to CARRY anything. Since the cats are absolutely worthless at bringing one glasses of water I had to devise a sort of bottle canteen hanging around my neck on a string in order to get available water to my bedside or chairside. (I have since substituted a fanny pack which can also carry spectacles, a pencil, book, phone and kleenex) In case Jess is not available, Rob, you should remember this is better than plucking helplessly at the coverlet and with swollen tongue calling piteously for Gunga Din. As I recall from my own experience, you will be mending soon and off to physical therapy in no time.

Good luck, darling and thanks for your lovely letter and compliments....I am touched and both proud and humbled that you think so highly of me. Incidentally.......I have just figured something out and it tickles me. When struggling with who came first, Evan or Oszcar or Max, I realized for the first time that you and I are actually of the same generation.....I just arrived a lot earlier than you , Deb and Bru. I have been saying that I feel like you guys are my children, but actually you are my brothers and sister and that is just how it feels. That is how my Mamma and your Dad and Lew felt about each other too.......she was just about the same number of years older than they were  (15). An interesting little side note to ponder on.

Heal, damn you, heal !!

Love, Lo