Thursday, March 14, 2013

Dolt, Dumbkopf, Brainless Idiot..........That's Me Not You

I  just stopped beating myself  over the head with a cudgel I keep around for just that purpose......I stopped only because I need both hands for blogging.  Otherwise who knows what further damage  I might have done.  I am reminded of my oldest friend Stella's Aunt Fanny  (no, no, I swear to you that was her name) who would look at us when we had done something less than bright and say, ...."so how many more colleges?".......(we were both grads and Stel even had a Masters Degree but they say you can't fix stupid. 

Why, you may ask, this self abuse?  Because I screwed up, bigtime and I am  not sure if I can ever forgive myself.  I know I will have to try, but I will get to that sometime later. Right now, back to my confession.
Awright, already .........enuf ,  enuf caterwauling.  Cut to the chase,  Lo.  See, it was like this.

The stupendous, splendid blogger,  Joe Hagy of Cranky Old Man, kindly allowed me to participate in a joint blog with him on a subject close to both our hearts.........fixing things that needed fixing in the world.  Together we developed a fine blog and he advised me that he would post it on Wednesday.  I fully intended to post a bit of a teaser here to point you all in his direction on the big day.......a blare of trumpets and an order/plea to run- do- not- walk to Cranky Old Man, but a few things came up in my life to distract me (I am one of  those folks like dear old Pres. Gerald  Ford who, they said, could not walk and chew gum at the sam e time, and I did not realize my blunder till the middle of the night last night 20 hours after publication,whereupon I leaped out of bed (metaphorically speaking) and staggered to the computer only to find that my favorite laptop had completely died of some strange recurring disease that happens often when it commands me not to turn off my computer because of urgent updates.  So, in my frenzy I moved down th3e table to my back-up laptop and, while trying to plug in the power cord I dropped it a just the teensiest bit and it told me in no uncertain gterms that it would not toleratge such rough tgreatment from tghe likes of a nonentity like me  and it promptly went black and lost all signs of life, and no matter what buttons I pushed nor what epithets I uttered would not revive.  There was nothing left to do but make my way to my old desktop which has been neglected for so long that I doubted it would ever speak to me again, but I bravely pressed on and pressed some more buttons and, the blessed creature responded grudgingly but with signs of life.  Howev er, my travails were not over.  When I tried to log on to Blogger it slapped me stingingly on both cheeks and the side of the head and insisted that I had the wrong password and, for some reason, known only to the cyber Gods, refused to let me reset it while leading me a merry circular chase with tempting prompts but no results. 

At this point I had no recourse but to write an email of abject apology to Joe, stuff my face with Gingersnaps, swallow a Vsalium and go back to bed.  In the morning, I figured, either it will all have been a bad dream, or I might have turned into a frog and need no longer worry about anything except wherfe my next delicious bug was coming from, or perhaps  Florence would have some answers.  Needless to say.....none of the above came to pass, but we did manage to get the backup laptop working by tricking it back to life by removing the battery, having a mock funeral, then reinstalling the battery causing a miracle resurrection.  (the problem with using the desktop computer is that I can not see the keyboard on that one well enough to do any extensive typing/correcting/typing etc.)

So, here you find me a pitiful wreck, a shadow of my former vigorous self,  a skid row derelict begging for a handout.  I just called my computer guru begging him  to make an emergency call and fix my trusty main laptop and to impress upon him the urgency I told him I had just tried to jump out of the window to commit suicide, but failed because I forgot I was on the ground floor.......another painful defeat on  top of everything else. 

So, what can you do for me, you ask?  (I assume that is what you are asking).  Very simple...won't hurt a bit........just rush your sweet blogging fannies over to Crank Old Man's blog of Wednesday, March 13, enjoy the blog and do leave a comment  if you can find it in your hearts to do so.  Right now I plan to swallow a few more Valium and go back to bed where, hopefully,  I cannot do any further damage.

Love ya' all.
the wreck who used to be Lo