Saturday, October 8, 2011

Not Plagarism....Sharing Anonymous Genius With the World

Forgive me if you have already seen the following piece.  I just received it from my old and dear friend, Bruce Simkins who happened to be the brother of my beloved friend Anita ....sadly, now no longer with us.  They were my first friends in California and without them I surely would have died of loneliness or just walked into the Pacific and kept going.  However, that is another story.

I do not know if Bruce wrote this.....he may have....he is quite brilliant.  However, to whomever wrote it I give credit and praise.  I think it is wonderful and deserves to be spread as widely as possible.  Feel free to copy and forward it to anyone you know who needs a laugh.  And, if you know who wrote it, please advise me so I can give proper credit.

By the way...I had to work like hell to try to fit the type into my space so please forgive any choppped off words.


No -  idiot !!  The subject does not read dating guys over 60 -  Put on your glasses & read it again !!

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: Drafting Guys Over 60
Date: October 8, 2011 12:40:34 PM CDT

Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously
 written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service 
Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older
          than 42 to join the military. 
They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. 
Instead of sending 18-year-olds 
off to fight, they ought to take 
us old guys. You shouldn't be 
able to join a military unit 
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers
 say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds. Old guys only 
think about sex a couple of times
a day, leaving us more than 
28,000 additional seconds per 
day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long

enough to be cranky, and a

cranky soldier is a dangerous

soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't

sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'

We are impatient and maybe

letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make

us feel better       and shut us

up for awhile.
An 18-year-old doesn't even

like to get up before 10am.
Old guys always get up early
to pee, so what the hell. Besides,

like I said, I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm

already up, I may as well be

up killing some fanatical


If captured we couldn't spill

the beans because we'd forget

where we put them. In fact,

name, rank, and serial number

would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for

old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and

we're sed to soft food.

We've also developed an

appreciation for
guns. We've been using

them for years as an excuse

to get out of the house,

away from the screaming

and yelling.
They could lighten up on the

obstacle course however... I've
 been in combat and never saw a 
single 20-foot wall with rope 
hanging over the side, nor did I 
ever do any pushups after 
completing basic training. 
Actually, the running part 
is kind of a waste of energy, too... 
I've never seen anyone 
outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole

world ahead of him. He's still

learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to

shade his eyes, not the back

of his head.
These are all great reasons
to keep our kids at home to

learn a little more about

life before sending them
off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down

those dirty rotten coward

terrorists. The last thing

an enemy would want to

see is a couple million

pissed off old farts with

attitudes and automatic

weapons, who know that

their best years are already
behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting

Women over

menopause!!! You think

MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them
 on border patrol. They'll have 
it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your

senior friends... it's in

big type so they can
 read it.