Forgive me if you have already seen the following piece. I just received it from my old and dear friend, Bruce Simkins who happened to be the brother of my beloved friend Anita ....sadly, now no longer with us. They were my first friends in California and without them I surely would have died of loneliness or just walked into the Pacific and kept going. However, that is another story.
I do not know if Bruce wrote this.....he may have....he is quite brilliant. However, to whomever wrote it I give credit and praise. I think it is wonderful and deserves to be spread as widely as possible. Feel free to copy and forward it to anyone you know who needs a laugh. And, if you know who wrote it, please advise me so I can give proper credit.
By the way...I had to work like hell to try to fit the type into my space so please forgive any choppped off words.
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DRAFTING GUYS OVER 60
No - idiot !! The subject does not read dating guys over 60 - Put on your glasses & read it again !!
Begin forwarded message:
Subject: Drafting Guys Over 60
Date: October 8, 2011 12:40:34 PM CDT
Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service
Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.
They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex
every 10 seconds. Old guys only
think about sex a couple of times
a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per
day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long
enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'
We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make
us feel better and shut us
An 18-year-old doesn't even
like to get up before 10am.
Old guys always get up early
to pee, so what the hell. Besides,
like I said, I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm
already up, I may as well be
up killing some fanatical
If captured we couldn't spill
the beans because we'd forget
where we put them. In fact,
name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for
old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and
them for years as an excuse
They could lighten up on the
obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a
single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did I
ever do any pushups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part
is kind of a waste of energy, too...
I've never seen anyone
outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole
world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons
to keep our kids at home to
learn a little more about
off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down
those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing
pissed off old farts with
their best years are already
HEY!! How about recruiting
If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have
it secured the first night!
senior friends... it's in
read it.
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