That means that this will be a short blog.......my mutterings these days are mostly epithets of the unpublishable kind and lots of shitpissfucks which become ineffective with too much repitition. I am checking in to reassure all you lovely people that I am still here. The reason for my foul utterings is the damned sciatica which is stubbornly hanging on making it impossible for me to get my bod into a painfree position of the horizontal persuasion.......that means hardly any sleep for days on end.
Actually, "on end" is about the only way I have been at all comfortable but on a comfort scale of 1 to 10 that still only rates about 1/3 if not less. Oy. I have been lurching around here like an afflicted Quasimodo pausing only between "Ouch" and "Oy Veys" to intersperse a few SPF's. Not only am I not a pretty sight, but offensive to the ears to boot. I will cautiously venture a bit of optimism though because I only counted a half a dozen of said shrieks last nite and I think I may have actually gotten 60 consecutive minutes of sleep several times between dusk and dawn.
However, on the bright side, the weird sore throat I was experiencing for several weeks has finally mostly abandoned its position and that is a Good thing. I always used to say you can only feel one severe pain at a time. Wrong. I have discovered that one's throat and ones ass can both hurt excruciatingly at the same time, a bit of knowledge I really could have lived my life out without knowing.
Since you all seem to be willing to have me cry on your shoulders, I must report that the death toll continues.......the husband of one of my dearest friends lost his battle and checked out a week after my cousin Lee......I never even I had a chance to rid the floor of all the soggy Kleenex before I started adding to the pile. I cry not for him but for her. His pain is ended, hers is not.......I can do nothing but send sympathy and love and I feel helpless as well as sad. I did send some Lindt Chocolate Truffles last week and she told me that he was able to eat one before the end and I am somewhat comforted by the idea that, if one must die, doing so with the lingering taste of a Truffle on one's tongue may be the best way of all. I hope you do not think me revoltingly insensitive.......the fact is, we all gotta go and, for myself, I would hope that I could depart licking the last heavenly crumb of Lindt from my lips.
Oh, yes, the Stock Market, which is my main entertainment these days (think of it as the snob's Las Vegas) has suddenly tanked and I am busily engaged in learning to play the short side of the down market. As my sainted Mama used to say, "Never a dull moment"........she also used to say "It's always something....."
and with that I think I will quit my blubbering and go tease, tantalize and tickle a cat using a pink feather tied to a string. That always makes both of us smile, and maybe tomorrow will be better. My Puts on the NASDAQ could begin to pay off.
As my buddies and I used to say back in our youth,
"See ya' later, Alligator !" And "Twenty-three skidoo too".
The New Yorker covers: January 8, 2018
13 hours ago