Well, my dears, I have come through the valley of the shadow of death once more and have decided to live a while longer, if I am allowed to.
Actually, what I did was....I took some desperate action and it turned out to be a real salvation in many ways. Oh, but the pain leading up to and during and even for a while after..........
Before you start muttering WTF, let me hasten to explain as best I can. When we last left our heroine she was struggling with (among other things) failing vision, impaired hearing and a cat who was so fat she couldn't clean her own hiney leaving that job to her servant and wet wipes and who was pooping on the bed and all over the place, to name just a few problems. The hearing thing....a recurrence of my old inner ear ailment was really the last straw. (though you would think the pooping on the bed would be, wouldn't you?.....well, we are all different). The ear thing, Mennierre's syndrome, is a bitch which cuts off your hearing makes you ears feel stuffed full of pudding, upsets your balance and makes you dizzy and nauseous.......I think you would agree that none of those are good things. My caregiver, Florence, has an extremely soft voice and I have been having to tell her to speak up for months, but this was much worse and I was sick of telling her, "louder please". She did try but couldn't or wouldn't maintain the pitch and finally suggested that I get a hearing aid, which prompted me to explode in a rant about her uncooperativeness and insensitivity. When I got my breath I decided it was not a bad idea, so I got on the internet and found a promising looking appliance for very little money and tons of rave reviews....so.....realizing the need for action, I ordered one. ( ! )
While waiting for the package I had another idea to possibly solve my kitty problem. I decided to take Winnie to my old wonderful lady Vet who, in past discussions of what would happen to my kitties after I crossed the rainbow bridge, had offered to take care of them herself. First, I wanted to see if she had any ideas about how to slim Winnie down and, sadly she had none but the dreaded word "Diet" and brought out a bag of the dreaded boring low carb kibble. We discussed the other Winnie problems and she suggested I leave Winnie with her in the Hospital for a few days to cure her sore behind and see what could be done and I had a brainstorm. I had been arranging with my cousin to come down from Portland and help me trap Baskin and put him and Winnie in carriers and drive them up north to a wonderful cat retirement home to which I would donate a lot of moolah. Why not negotiate a better solution? So I made her an offer she couldn't refuse to adopt Winnie then and there and she agreed to cure Winnie and take her home to join her husband and 10 other cats, all of whom share a single bedroom....don't ask me how. At least I knew Winnie would not be lonely, might slim down and b e able to clean her own hiney and would have great veterinary services at her beck and call. It was a done deal in a twinkling and I left with an aching heart but a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. There have been a few days of much pain but none of regret. I am sure I did the best thing for all concerned. Sigh.
And then the new hearing aid arrived and, after a few blunders, some cursing and wailing and grinding of teeth, Florence and I manages to get the tubing on the right protruberence and I tried it and, by gum, it worked pretty damned well ......better than the $3500 contraption that I took back immediately several years ago which nearly blew my head off with my own voice. Of course, immediately upon sensing that the hearing aid had been deposited in the mail box, my inner ear problem subsided and I could again hear somewhat, but I still welcome the help if I feel I need it. Really, I am glad I was forced into action on this front.
So, kiddies all in all, things are looking up and I am no longer hating my life. I feel like I have solved a few big problems and taking some positive action has lifted a huge load from my shoulders and made me feel somewhat competent again........so I can smile again and, perhaps, continue blogging cheerfully.........or, maybe not. We will just have to wait and see, won't we?
Tune in again and find out.
The New Yorker covers: February 10, 1968
5 hours ago