Having sunk to the depths of despair over my struggles to incorporate a new kitty into my household, I confided my agony and barren bleakness to my dear friend Anne in the UK.......I call her St. Anne of Devon......I have written a bit about her in the past. She is the amazing personage who caters to a devoted (demanding) seagull named Spud, a bird who ungraciously bangs on her window with his beak demanding more cheddar and who sometimes meets her at the bus stop and follows her home probably uttering all sorts of unprintable comments and requests.
She, in her incredibly compassionate way tried to comfort me and paid me the greatest compliment I have received since my friend, Bob, assured me that "my worst was good enough". After enduring my whining for half a page that I was unfit and unable to blog worth a damn, she kindly reassured me that my followers were so loyal and true (and implied that my talents were so vast) that folks would probably enjoy it if I simply wrote a Grocery List.
Well, let's just see about that!
It so happens that I have my list from yesterday's shopping excursion, so be prepared to be entertained by:
2 lbs. Turkey Pastrami - one of the staples of my freezer and frig meat tray. I try to deceive myself into believing that this stuff, since it is supposedly made from turkey rather than beef and shows no visible fat, might not be so bad for one and might even be good for one. (we do not count nitrates and preservatives, you understand.....I mean, let's not go overboard with this).......I know, for a fact, that it is certainly good for one fine sandwich when paired with some Dijon Mustard a slice of Jarlsberg Swiss and a bit of sauerkraut all embraced by some real deli rye bread.
1 lb. Jarlsberg Swiss Cheese - (see above) also divine on it own with simple lettuce and tomato on wheat, not to mention melted into Cheese Fondue with some garlic, white wine and a touch of nutmeg and crispy sourdough morsels for dipping..
1 lb. Black Forest Ham - fine for sandwiches, Quesadillas and exquisite when used as a stuffing with above Jarlsburg rolled up into sinless (should be skinless, but I love the idea of no sin) herb-rubbed chicken breasts and sauted in butter, white wine and lemon juice with a few mushrooms tossed in for the joy of it.
1 lb. Provolone Cheese - good for so many things it is impossible to list 'em
5 pkgs. Nibblers Pretzels - Honey Mustard & Onion flavor and Garlic flavor for any moment when a food emergency strikes 24/7 and for munching while watching NCIS on TV featuring the Sexiest Man Alive, (Mark Harmon.....my secret crush.......and,pray tell me why the hell, after living it up for 83 years a person is not allowed to have a secret crush?......I ain't dead yet and if I were that smile would bring me back to life)
OK my dears, there is yourentertainment for today .......I am not sure if you have been amused but I'll bet I have managed to make some of you drool and salivate just a bit. What the hell......hungry is an OK feeling....take what you can get. Go nosh something. As my Great Grandma, Sarah, (or anybody's Jewish Great Grandmother) would probably say, "Ess, ess, mine kindt" (sp?)
And by the way, out of deference to your delicate feelings I did not mention that the last thing on my shopping list was a package of Depends.......after all, I AM 83............and I tell it like it is......
The New Yorker covers: February 10, 1975
6 hours ago