Sunday, December 27, 2009

Ruthless I May Be, But Not Heartless

This is, I hope, the last chapter on my knock-down drag-out catfight with a poor girl whose posting on Facebook caused me to lose my temper and behave badly.  I am, I hope, never too proud, or too arrogant to say I am sorry and, after thinking over the situation I decided that an apology might be the right thing to offer someone who was expressing a back-assed effort to quit smoking.  I still deplore her smarmy attitude and approach to the subject, and I am still rankling just a wee bit  from being called a "shrivelling prune", (who, ME????) but I am way above and beyond letting insults which I may have provoked bring me down and I am, as much as possible, always gung ho to reach across the line and do the right thing.  Consequently, it may please and relieve my fans to note the following apology I just submitted.

" Dear Selena : I apologize for what may have seemed like my harsh words earlier. I am a "saved" 4 pack a day ex-smoker myself. Additionally, I nursed my husband thru a crippling stroke (partially caused by his smoking) and lost him to lung cancer from his smoking so I do have the credentials to be down on taking smoking lightly. If I hurt you, please forgive. I wish you good luck in your struggle. "

It is interesting to me that it took 3 blogs to actually complete this verbal adventure.  I also want to stress that the lesson in all of this, (if anyone cares to know what I have learned and relearned during my life ) is simply that a person, even one who may consider themselves absolutely in the right on a position, should always review the circumstances objectively and honestly and, given any case where a person may have hurt another person unintentionally (or even more to the point  - intentionally ), it is vital that a person simply say "I'm sorry".    As far as I am concerned those are the two 2nd most important words in the English (and every other) language............. after "I love you".

Nuff said.

My Comeuppance

(Before reading this you  MUST read my preceding entry of earlier today)

Well, here I lie bloody and bruised, having been given a good poke in the snoot by the childish person I unceremoniously spanked on Facebook for her facetious approach to stopping smoking..  Undaunted, I say I would not take back a single word, but I am finding this exchange so fascinating, bizarre and so funny that I feel it warrants a bit of blogging.  Without further ado, I include below the Facebook response my chiding elicited.......I am not quite sure how I feel about being called a "shrivelling prune".......heaven knows I cannot deny being one, but it is practically unavoidable when one gets to be 82 or so.........I AM vibrating with irritation at having my pithy words called "ignorant comments".....(they were anything but ignorant)  ........and have ambivalent feelings about being called a "moronic character"........I think she could have done better, but, after all, she is young and  has a lot to learn..........and, to be fair, she did not receive my complete comment but had to make do with an edited version that, perhaps, did not include (because of Facebooks word limitations) my confessions of my own weaknesses.


Selena Leoni Dearest lois,

Please refrain from using insults. Your words are nothing to me due to the fact I do not know who you are nor care to after your ignorant comments. I encourage you to LAY OFF. I am doing this for my mother not the approving opinions of moronic characters like yourself. Thanks for your life changing words of encouragement you shriveling prune. Good day."


I do want you to know that I have sent an email of abject apology to the friend who sent me the referral to the Facebook entry......after all I realize that the person whom I apparently insulted and wounded could possibly be someone dear to them.  What a waste........

Ranting and Raving - Was I Too Harsh?

I just finished leaving an entry on a wall in Facebook and I am not sure whether I should feel proud or ashamed.  My sin was to have totally chewed out a perfect stranger whom a friend encouraged me to encourage to quit smoking. 

In the first place the entry enraged me with it's smug silliness.  This young woman posted an appeal for 5000 people to leave messages for her  in order to urge and/or coerce her into giving her parents a Christmas present.....the gift of her stopping smoking.  I will only quote the few words that sent me over the top........

                  .....I can, but I don't want to".......

Yeah, sure......and pigs can fly.   Having been the worst kind of Niccotine Addict I can say that any smoker with half a brain would definitely want's the "I can" part that rouses my suspicions...... everyone lies to themselves about some things and any addiction brings out the lies in large numbers.  Anyway, I found myself actually participating in this charade by leaving a comment (if you can call frothing at the mouth in a definitely unladylike fashion a comment).  This is when I discovered that Facebook is not for the wordy or long winded.......I had hardly completed my diatribe and attempted to post it when I was rebuked by the damned software because I was apparently over the word  limit.  (One of the things I hate about Facebook is its shallowness......all of those people attempting to "reach out and touch somebody" and, as far as I am concerned, failing miserably.)  At this point annoyance had triumped over reason and I spent 15 precious minutes of my life editing my offering down to the bare bones so that it would be accepted but still deliver the message I wanted to get across. 

However, I have found, since I started this damned blogging, that a character flaw that used to be reserved for tangibles (like being unable to throw things out and unable to resist taking in and restoring things that my neighbors threw out) had spread to my being unable to even waste WORDS.  (Oh, God, what IS to become of me???.....)  So, I carefully collected all of the discarded words, phrases, sentences and assorted epithets and deposited them in my blog basket for use herein.  Without further ado, below is the full, unexpurgated version of my comment.......

"You silly, shallow, spoiled, self-absorbed, nay, I might even go so far as to say stupid infant. I fervently recommend that you develop a modicum of sense and a morsel of character before you bother to try to quit smoking.

You have been given the gift of life and parents who apparently care about you and you are wasting those precious assets with this infantile game to see how many fools you can recruit to give you "rah rahs". I suggest you save the outrageous money wasted on cigarettes for your old age when you can use it for oxygen tanks or other such equipment to help you breathe..

Dammit, I am 83 years old and know whereof I speak. I was once a 4 pack-a day smoker....a total addict....smoked every waking moment. Smoked in the shower, in the swimming pool, not quite during sex but immediately after it and even woke up during the night in order to satisfy my need for another puff. I got off lucky......managed to quit 25 years ago and, so far, I am still breathing on my own, but not a day goes by that I don't give thanks for my good fortune.

If you can, as you say "do it" then, for crissakes, DO it already !"


Do you think I overreacted???  I would be enormously grateful if 5000 of you responded to my query.