You know what I hate? I hate Emoticons
I find them infantile
and ugly to boot
and that's the troot.
I consider them quite totally offensive
I think that the person who invented them
or first presented them
should be forced to have them tatooed over every inch of their epidermis, both exposed and hidden
and then they should be tied naked to the back of a horse and ridden
through the downtown of every city of 50,00 or more regardless of the weather
and people should be encouraged to get together
and throw overripe fruit and tomatoes
and hurl lewd remarks and insults and threats at them
and shame and scare the bejesus out of them.
And as for the ones people make out of innocent punctuation
they are equally silly, irritating and require eradication.
Only difference is that while being equally deplorable and unadorable
They are at least a bit more ignorable.
So I say Faugh on all who use them.....those "pictures" are for the birds....
What in the hell is wrong with words?
And for my next number
I want to see the complete disappearance of the use of "lol"
And may everyone who ignores my plea be sentenced to eternally trying to eat an ice cream cone
The grumpy, rhyming Lois has spoken.
The New Yorker covers: February 10, 1968
5 hours ago