OUT OF MY MIND !
The thing that I have feared and hidden from has come upon me....no, the damned truth is that I have brought it upon me.....posted a sign, put an invitation in the PennySaver and invited it into my driveway, onto my front lawn and godknowswhereelse. Do I have to let them use the bathroom?
My dear friends, you must have guessed it. Desperation has driven me to participate in a neighborhood Yard Sale and I have only a few pitiful hours left before I must schlepp 4,327 boxes down the street or commit suicide (and you must know in which direction I am tending).
I had to hire an expert in the field to take me by the scruff of the neck and drag me thru my bulging domain uttering phrases like, "Here, this is something you don't need...it will be perfect". whereupon she literally pried It out of my gnarled, clutching fingers and dropped it in a cardboard box, stonily ignoring my whimpering and pleas. I will not dwell further on this horror right now because it is taking all my courage and dedication to keep myself from dragging all those boxes back in from the porch. On the other hand, it is more than weird that I find myself opening more cabinets and finding treasures I had forgotten I even had and putting them into yet more cardboard boxes at moments when I am not looking.
To be a crazy hoarder is wretched.....to have been collecting stuff from the four corners of the earth and from several relatives from before Methuselah makes it worse..........and to be partly logical and dispassionate at the same time is total agony and chaos. I am not sure I will survive till Sunday at 4 pm, but if I should be so lucky (or so ill-fated) I will be sure to blog you all about it. Sigh....Gasp.....Groan.
I wonder if collecting for 85 years before having your first Yard Sale will qualify me for the Guinness Book of Records?
Hmmmmm. Now in which box did she put that adorable brass mouse with the wavy tail?...........
The New Yorker covers: February 10, 1975
4 hours ago