Thursday, November 3, 2011

Holy Crap! What Have I Done? I Must Have Been.......

OUT OF MY MIND !

The thing that I have feared and hidden from has come upon me....no, the damned truth is that I have brought it upon me.....posted a sign, put an invitation in the PennySaver  and invited it into my driveway, onto my front lawn and godknowswhereelse.  Do I have to let them use the bathroom?

My dear friends, you must have guessed it.  Desperation has driven me to participate in a neighborhood Yard Sale and I have only a few pitiful  hours left before I must schlepp 4,327 boxes down the street or commit suicide (and you must know in which direction I am tending).

I had to hire an expert in the field to take me by the scruff of the neck and drag me thru my bulging domain uttering phrases like, "Here, this is something you don't need...it will be perfect". whereupon she literally pried It out of my gnarled, clutching fingers and dropped it in a cardboard box, stonily ignoring my whimpering and pleas.  I will not dwell further on this horror right now because it is taking all  my courage and dedication to keep myself from dragging all those boxes back in from the porch.  On the other hand,  it is more than weird that I find myself opening more cabinets and finding treasures I had forgotten I even had and putting them into yet more cardboard boxes  at moments when I am not looking.

To be a crazy hoarder is wretched.....to have been collecting stuff from the four corners of the earth and from several relatives from before Methuselah makes it worse..........and to be partly logical and dispassionate at the same time is total agony and chaos.  I am not sure I will survive till Sunday at 4 pm, but if I should be so lucky (or so ill-fated)  I will be sure to blog you all about it.  Sigh....Gasp.....Groan.

I wonder if collecting for 85 years before having your first Yard Sale will qualify me for the Guinness Book of Records?

Hmmmmm.  Now in which box did she put that adorable brass mouse with the wavy tail?...........
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15 comments:

  1. bobbieNovember 3, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Oh, Lo! Wish I could be there to hold your hand!!!

    (and maybe snag a few treasures???)

    In sympathy ~

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  2. BettyNovember 3, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    I feel your pain. I swore off yard sales years ago and I've much happier for it. Good luck.

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  3. AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    No one but a "collector" of "priceless personal treasures" (so they look like crap to other people) could have described this any better, Lo...Since you've made the decisions to "keep, or sell," I wish you great success.

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  4. The Blog FodderNovember 4, 2011 at 1:36 AM

    I wish I could come to your garage sale and relieve you of some of these treasures, just to annoy my kids when it comes time to leave me on the ice.

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  5. crafty cat cornerNovember 4, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    I well know the feeling of so much junk (treasures).
    My kids will hate it when the time comes to empty the house. My daughter is not the least bit interested in crafts and neither are my sons so someone will get lucky in the local charity shop.....

    Briony
    x

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  6. WatsonNovember 4, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    Stuff sure piles up with the years! Wish I had your courage Lo!

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  7. Sarcastic BastardNovember 4, 2011 at 6:01 AM

    Lo Dear,
    I hope you make SHITLOADS of money. That might make you feel some better.

    I would have pried stuff from your hands FOR FREE (or the cost of a cheap plane ticket).

    I love you.

    SB

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  8. laughingmomNovember 4, 2011 at 7:30 AM

    Good Luck Lo! I swore off having yard sales ever again after I found myself arguing with a lady over an item priced at ten cents. You are a brave lady.

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  9. messymimiNovember 4, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    Good luck, and trust me, you will not regret lightening your house and your mind this way.

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  10. SharleneTNovember 4, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    Now, that you've got it down, you can come help me!!! I've so got to do this!

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  11. MAYBELLINENovember 4, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    Nice that you're sharing with others AND making some dough to boot!

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  12. Nancy/BLissed-Out GrandmaNovember 4, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    I'm sure you will have some interesting stories for us when it's over! I'll bet you have some GREAT stuff...even after packing so many things into boxes.

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  13. Ms. MoonNovember 5, 2011 at 6:20 AM

    I have a tiny brass mouse I would like to add to your sale. Plus about a million other things.

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  14. Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotteNovember 5, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    OH my!! crazy is dead on. try to buy less and sell more!!

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  15. Linda MyersNovember 6, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    I wish my husband would find some boxes and drag them, full, down the street to a garage sale!

    Sympathies.

    ReplyDelete

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