Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread?.......One (Crazy) Woman's Opinion

  • The serious ab workout for people who don't have the time or energy to workout
  • 150 perfect contractions per session
  • Contour Does Your Ab Workout for You
  • New Moms - Strengthen and tone your abs
  • Improve your posture with stronger core muscles
And that's just the teaser.

Those of you who really follow me faithfully may remember that  a few  blogs ago I promised to tell you about the wonderful, weird gift I bought myself?   Well,  here I am to fulfill that promise, as a benevolent service to my fellow, no, don't thank me yet........having found what I consider to be a little  electric miracle machine I am glad to share the magic with anyone who might feel the need for such.  (I am not an official spokesman for the product nor do I receive any remuneration.)  I am really doing this out of love for the product and the desire to give you the opportunity to be as charmed as I am.)

    But as usual with my long winded blogs, we must backtrack 20 or more years for the preface.  Through most of my young and middle and approaching my sort-of-oldish years, I valiantly fought the battle of the bulges.  Not only did I diet unmercifully, but I exercised (before it became fahionable) did Yoga, walked,  rode bicycles, let those rubber-belted torture machines agitate my hips and love handles, roller skated, swam and danced (my Mom taught me the Charleston and it was better than Jane Fonda's workout tapes)......anything to work off a bit of excess blubber.  Very few of the above exertions did me much good at all as far a getting skinny, but it did, I suppose do some good as far as keeping my body in a toned state.  At that time I did not give a fig for a toned state........NON-FAT was what I wanted to be......and  like a water-starved wretch crawling across the desert toward a mythical oasis, I kept on crawling toward the dream.
      My eye was always peeled for any new methodology and one day I saw an ad for a salon in Pasadena that had a newfangled machine that was supposed to attack fat with electrical vibrations and exercise your muscles while you lounged on a couch and imbibed lime coolers.  Sounds too good to be true?  Yeh, yeh, I know, but the desperate fall for almost anything, so I hied me off to Pasadena and signed up for a series of treatments with the new great expense, incidentally.
      The first treatment was a bit offputting as they connected me up to the magic machine with various little pads and electrodes across my middle expanse, flipped the "ON" switch and subjected me to an hour of funny ticklings, pricklings and odd tuggings.  After I got used to it, I found it rather pleasant and because it was so utterly different than anything I had ever felt, I had high hopes that some fat cells might succumb.  Little fool that I was, ten or so sessions later I emerged from this snazzy salon, considerably poorer, sated with lime coolers, tingling around the tummy, but with at least the same number of fat cells as I had when I started, but boy, were those underlying muscles toned to a fare-thee-well.

      Fast forward 20 or 30 years and we find dear, old Lo with considerably more fat cells than before, no longer aspiring to "skinny" but merely to be  "mobile" and, worse yet, with muscles un-toned and in such decrepit physical condition as to make it nearly impossible to tone them with regular exercise.  Then lo and behold, (no pun intended) there appears on the laptop computer screen a bit of spam that promises those things you read  at the beginning of this blog.  And it tantalizes me by offering a trial for 30 days at the paltry price of $14.95.  How could I resist.

      Incidentally, the device has FDA approval and both my internist and my Cardiologist were delighted to hear I was trying it and encouraged me to continue since they both considered it a very theraputic workout for a battered old soul such as myself.

      So here I am about a week after receiving the magic machine which happens to be a little belt sort of like a fanny-pack with 4 sticky patches which you place on your abs when donning the belt.  
      Then you activate the brain of this incredible device and tell it how long you want it to tickle you and how strongly you want it to prickle and tug you and then you go about your business for 45 minutes blogging, or watching TV or working in the garden or whipping up a blueberry fruit bread for breakfast or just lying there sipping a lime cooler.

      After a week of try-out I was so should excuse the expression,,,,,.tickled that I called to make my full payment and I was even more pleased to find that, by paying for it in a single payment I would get a $20 discount, so instead of it being $199.95 it was only $179.95.  Now that may sound like a huge amount of money to some of sounded like huge amount of money to ME....but when I considered how much better I felt after using it for just a week I decided it was cheap at twice the price.  Not only does it feel good while it is potching and tickling me, but it has really strengthened my core muscles and invigorated me.

      Not only can I schlepp my bod out of a chair more easily, but I can fix the kitty plates without having to lean on the sink and I have even been able to go out into the garden and dig a bit.  For me a real dose of magic if not quite a miracle.

      If anyone is interested in how to reach Contour's website, just ask and I will post the address here as a comment.  If this helps even one more soul I will be content.

      And, if any of you are wondering.......I must confess that I think I have exactly the same number of fat cells as I had last week....the only difference is that it is much easier to schlepp them around.