Not Plagarism....Sharing Anonymous Genius With the World

Forgive me if you have already seen the following piece.  I just received it from my old and dear friend, Bruce Simkins who happened to be the brother of my beloved friend Anita ....sadly, now no longer with us.  They were my first friends in California and without them I surely would have died of loneliness or just walked into the Pacific and kept going.  However, that is another story.

I do not know if Bruce wrote this.....he may have....he is quite brilliant.  However, to whomever wrote it I give credit and praise.  I think it is wonderful and deserves to be spread as widely as possible.  Feel free to copy and forward it to anyone you know who needs a laugh.  And, if you know who wrote it, please advise me so I can give proper credit.

By the way...I had to work like hell to try to fit the type into my space so please forgive any choppped off words.
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DRAFTING GUYS OVER 60

No -  idiot !!  The subject does not read dating guys over 60 -  Put on your glasses & read it again !!

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: Drafting Guys Over 60

Date: October 8, 2011 12:40:34 PM CDT

Drafting Guys Over 60 This is funny & obviously  written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service  Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older           than 42 to join the military.  They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.  Instead of sending 18-year-olds  off to fight, they ought to take  us old guys. You shouldn't be  able to join a military unit  until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers  say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only  think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than  28,000 additional seconds per  day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better       and shut us up for awhile. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're sed to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've  been in combat and never saw a  single 20-foot wall with rope  hanging over the side, nor did I  ever do any pushups after  completing basic training.  Actually, the running part  is kind of a waste of energy, too...  I've never seen anyone  outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them. HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them  on border patrol. They'll have  it secured the first night! Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can  read it.