I was just about to start this off with the admonition to all you wonderful people, "Don't Get Old!".......then I realized that the alternative is not very inviting so I take back the command. Actually getting old is a very interesting process full of surprises (i.e that's funny.....I always used to be able to reach down there to put my socks on), shocking discoveries (when the Gallup Poll asks me whether I expect my situation to be to be better, worse, or the same in 10 years (as they often do about different life situations) just thinking about it scares the shit out of me.......I have absolutely no answer...... "damned if I know where I will be in 10 years, you insensitive dolt" doesn't have a box to be checked........I just click on "next" and pray it is not as threatening.
Perhaps one of the funniest things about getting old is the fact that, on your bad days, you and your peers often have a lot of the same vague but possibly ominous symptoms but, in my case, only I have a computer....(these old biddies who refuse to move into the 21st century really burn my ass) ...consequently I have to be prepared to receive phone calls at any hour of the day or nite with an anxious, quavering voice pressing me to look up this kind of pain in the foot just above the big toe or that kind of strange eruption or rash on the hiney or what could be causing a person to be unable to lift her legs and get out of bed in the morning and off I am dispatched to see what the oracle called Google offers as diagnosis.
(Fortunately for that last mentioned condition I was able to diagnose it myself by asking how many blankets and quilts were keeping her warm and found the weight of same to be so heavy that it is a wonder she could ever walk again...removal of half of them resulted in an instant cure.......ah well.....) But that Google can be a menace as well as an aid.........by the time I finish looking at the pictures and reading the dire predictions I usually come down the the very same affliction and can't rid myself of it till my next visit to the doctor whereupon he manages to dispel my fears without making me feel like a total unadulterated idiot. I have always had a tendency to slight hypochondria
and Google is NO place for hypochondriacs I can tell you. I have decided, that for my own self protection, I must shut down my practice as medical intermediary or risk being stricken down before my time by somebody else's ailments.
I'll be very honest....I did not envision having these particular weird problems in my old age.......but I guess that is precisely the crux of the matter.....hardly anyone bothers to picture themselves in their old age and no one can imagine what old age is like till you are sunk into it up the the armpits. Worse yet, there isn't a single damned book out there to properly describe or warn you of what to expect. I guess that is why it still remains an adventure of some sort or another.........
A Little Journey Around Lloyd
6 hours ago
You're right, we don't really understand what's in store for us as we age. It takes courage to get old, that's for sure. I love that you are the go-to person for internet research.ReplyDelete
What's the saying? "Old age ain't for sissies!"ReplyDelete
So, write the book and make millions. I'll get Oprah on the line.ReplyDelete
Yes, what Rosie said. You are such a great way to start the morning, Lois---I haven't even had coffee yet, and you've got me wide awake.ReplyDelete
Aging is definitely an adventure! (And with he help of Google, we can extend our number of diagnoses exponentially.)ReplyDelete
Happy Valentine's Day, Lo!
Yes. Old age is still like the maps of old where Africa was just...black. Surely some adventurous traveler could write a decent book with maps.ReplyDelete
Or is that we're doing here in blogworld? Charting old age.
And stay away from Dr. Google.
You might try a book by Art Linkletter called "Old Age is Not For Sissies". He wrote it when he could actually know what he was talking about.ReplyDelete
Will take your warning about Dr. Google very seriously.
Well at 76 I am a lot older than I thought I would ever be. And to think this October I should turn 77 -- what a surprise it will be to be as old as my father when he passed away. I don't know how much longer I can survive as I am on oxygen most of the time now. I assume until they run out of the stuff.ReplyDelete
Happy Valentine's Day, sweet lady.ReplyDelete
This post is a complete scream! My mother is your age and she is literally scared to death to hit the "on" button because "something might happen." LOL ...
You go girl!
Well done Lo, you are my inspiration! :-)ReplyDelete
I'm so glad I found you! What a delightful read.ReplyDelete
Before Google. I had every medical book one could imagine - still have but Google is much faster. Problem is that I now have ailments that I never knew existed! And my Pill Book (latest edition) has been relegated to the book shelf!
We have had computers in our home since the early 80s and my husband spent so much time on his that I refused to go near it. I used to say that I could on,y imagine it being was worse than dealing with another woman!! Or being a golf widow! An old friend came to stay, couldn't believe that I preferred my portable electric typewriter, introduced me to Word and that was it!! I have never looked back. My family have seriously thought of having me treated for addiction!!! At work I wonder what we did before computers and at home I believe every biddy should have one! Learning is one thing to keep one active - forget Maxine!
Old age? I just turn the figures round - I'm 46!
I'm guilty! Instead of checking out my ailments on Google, I ask you. So much of what you have suggested has beaten the hell out of the doctor's advice. AS for being old, I don't think I am..What do I do for that!!(lol) I'm certainly not young! I promise myself I'm not going to bug you with my ailments....next thing I know I am at the computer with my "Dear Lo," I look forward to seeing what words of wisdom you have on your blog, and I am never disappointed. Oh, to have your talent!!ReplyDelete
That's a good point - all the books out there to prepare us for all stages of life, but the cut off age for advice seems to be midlife. After that if you can't figure it out on your own you're just hooped I guess!ReplyDelete
Finally smart, and then I forget what I'm smart about! Don't want to grow old gracefully..do want to grow..ReplyDelete
You put it all out there in this piece..who could disagree? Perfect!
Hi. Back to check up on you. It just occurred to me how hilarious it is to be rational:ReplyDelete
"Aging is not fun. But my mission in life is to get as old as I possibly can."
Lo, if one must age, then it should be done as you are: with curiousity, wit, and style.ReplyDelete