So where have I been for all these many silent, blogless days? The truth is nowhere in prticular, or right here or to hell and back.........wandering grimly down the dusty corridors of my mind trying to figure out a way to adjust my attitude. Take it from me, folks, attitude is everything.
And NO, the problem isn't only because I have been coping with some physical problems, though they certainly do not help the situation. I think I have just been in one long tantrum behaving like a recalcitrant child (spoiled brat) yelling "I don't wanna" while that damned voice keeps saying, "you gotta". And what are all these things I gotta do? Just all of the things that are on the list of stuff I gotta take care of before I die…… And then accepting the fact that I gotta do that too. No, no, I have not been given a dire prognosis. Physically I am probably in great shape for my age. I think it is simply that astronomical number that has me spooked. I never made plans for what to do when I was 86. In fact, I will confess thst I could not imagine myself or the world beyond 1999. I never did elieve in the 21st century.......
Let's face it folks, the truth is I'm just a rotten sport. Not only do I hate to lose at Monopoly and Go Fish, but I hate to lose mobility, vision, old friends, and you name it. y If you try to take away all my toys, I am going to sulk, scream and protest loudly and without any grace. Must be how I got to be such a Hoarder but you cannot hoard life. It is the poster child for the statement, "Use it or lose it".........and by that I do not mean that you have to accomplish some marvelous feat daily,,,,,you just need to recognize and appreciate the gift of a new day.
I keep having to relearn the lesson of simply accepting what is irrevocable and being grateful for this single day. Anti-climax perhaps, but that's all the wisdom I've got to offer so far........and something tells me that that may be the best I'll ever come up with.
Anyway, that is where I am and what I have been working on . No funny bits today........it;s just hard work......all that damned accepting.
So let me just say......Oh,, phooey. And, of course, SPF.
P.S. More later, I love ya all.
And NO, the problem isn't only because I have been coping with some physical problems, though they certainly do not help the situation. I think I have just been in one long tantrum behaving like a recalcitrant child (spoiled brat) yelling "I don't wanna" while that damned voice keeps saying, "you gotta". And what are all these things I gotta do? Just all of the things that are on the list of stuff I gotta take care of before I die…… And then accepting the fact that I gotta do that too. No, no, I have not been given a dire prognosis. Physically I am probably in great shape for my age. I think it is simply that astronomical number that has me spooked. I never made plans for what to do when I was 86. In fact, I will confess thst I could not imagine myself or the world beyond 1999. I never did elieve in the 21st century.......
Let's face it folks, the truth is I'm just a rotten sport. Not only do I hate to lose at Monopoly and Go Fish, but I hate to lose mobility, vision, old friends, and you name it. y If you try to take away all my toys, I am going to sulk, scream and protest loudly and without any grace. Must be how I got to be such a Hoarder but you cannot hoard life. It is the poster child for the statement, "Use it or lose it".........and by that I do not mean that you have to accomplish some marvelous feat daily,,,,,you just need to recognize and appreciate the gift of a new day.
I keep having to relearn the lesson of simply accepting what is irrevocable and being grateful for this single day. Anti-climax perhaps, but that's all the wisdom I've got to offer so far........and something tells me that that may be the best I'll ever come up with.
Anyway, that is where I am and what I have been working on . No funny bits today........it;s just hard work......all that damned accepting.
So let me just say......Oh,, phooey. And, of course, SPF.
P.S. More later, I love ya all.
For much of our lives we are encouraged to make things happen. Then we find out that we have less control than we'd like, and we have to learn to accept and be grateful for what we have. It's a hard transition and a hard balance. Your fighting spirit is one of your great gifts. It sounds like you are working on a sense of serenity to keep it company. All the best!
ReplyDeleteDo we ever catch up to whatever the newest normal is? Do we? Much less learn to accept? I do not know.
ReplyDeleteOh, hell, Lo, leave the detritus to your heirs and assigns. That could make you smile. Do you still have the little lend-lease kitty? We haven't heard about her in a while.
ReplyDeleteWhat lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. --Henry David Thoreau
ReplyDeleteQuite a profound statement Lo... "you cannot hoard life". I shall remember it too, as I work my way through this aging time. I hate losing stuff that's so important - friends, sight, hearing, mobility. You inspire me to continue on my road without fear.
ReplyDeleteDaisy's Barbara
I'm with HDT and Daisy ~
ReplyDeleteI still love you ~~~
bobbie
Excellent wisdom, and plenty enough.
ReplyDeleteHi Lo, Ageing sucks. Try to put your big girl panties on and give your best to what you have left:)
ReplyDeleteOh stop moaning and start posting more, we miss you.
ReplyDeleteSPF!
Stuff you have to take care of in case you keep on living is a bit of a bind too, I find. I'm visiting a friend aged 95 tomorrow to take her antique china away and arrange for its sale. She wants to deal with things in her own way, not have someone else do it after her death. But she left it a pretty good long time before doing so.
ReplyDeleteI'm planning on being "Betty White." It may not work out that way, but what the hell. It's always good to read your posts, Lo. Still only in my sixties, I'm beginning to realize that while aging sucks, it still beats the alternative.
ReplyDeleteG'day Lo. Doesn't matter how long you have been away for, it's more important you keep coming back and writing great posts. I do hope you don't mind but I have adopted your SPF. By gee, it's come in handy a few times lately....
ReplyDeleteAlways in my good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Lo.
Ah, Lo, I've missed you. I'm going to print this post and send it to my (computer-less) Mom. She's "only" 83, and her attitude is pretty good most of the time, but she's losing contemporaries right and left, or watching them diminish in faculties and lose themselves. I think that's what she finds hardest about her age. She certainly doesn't "hoard" life...she lives it. I'm trying to keep learning how that's done by watching her. And you.
ReplyDeleteLo
ReplyDeleteRant away.... I understad only too well. I feel like that myself and I know If I had aches and pains I'd be more that ready to go right now. It's rather bleak when all of one's friends have gone and although I get on well with younger people, I often would like some friends near my own age. 84 in a couple weeks.
Take care and listen to some of that great jazz that you love.
I wasn't to keen about joining the 21st century either but what the heck the alternative didn't seem to great either....;)
ReplyDeleteYou have had a great time so far. I look forward to all your posts.
ReplyDelete