End of the Name Game

I want to thank all you fine folk who attempted to help me name the newly arrived kitty and to apologize for my cowardly chickening out.   (see below)  All of the suggestions were splendid and I must confess I was very tempted by the appropriateness of "Spitunia" (laytonwomand3rd)  but you all must understand that I must picture myself standing on the front porch steps at any hour of the day or night shrieking the name into the neighborhood air along with loud clapping of the hands and intermittent hissings of "here pussy, pussy, pussy".  Sorry, Rosie, but from the beginning but I had to rule out "Bitch".   Not only would it project a skewed image of me as Cat Momma, but I fear it would give my neighbors the totally wrong idea of both of us.

However, for me the main quality the name must possess is that it feels good rolling off the tongue and I finally decided that the one that felt the best and was somewhat appropriate was...... "Bitsy".......not very imaginative I am afraid, but satisfactory.  Of course, I was also heavily influenced by the fact that the previous owners had been calling her "Mitzi", a name I detested, but I noticed that the little wretch at least cocked her ear slightly to the sound of that and "Bitsy"seemed the perfect solution..........so, c'est fini".

Thank you all enormously.......your suggestions were hugely useful in helping me decide what I did NOT want to name her......no offense intended..........and, who knows, after another few months of this silly growling and hissing she may end up being "Bitch"

I know you are all wondering why I have not posted a photo of her and I promise I will do so as soon as I can take one that does her justice. 

Gotta go now and round up the herd.

Urk......Excuse Me......Must Have Been Somehing I Ate

Oh, hell......I guess it was inevitable that it would happen some day.

I went to the frig the other day (and knowing me you KNOW that my frig is not one of those wimpy things with nothing in it but half bottle of champagne and an orchid )......well, as I was saying, there I was peering into the frig and I realized that one of the 5327 containers tucked away for future enjoyment or saved for the fight against midnight hunger attacks had leaked.  Rather then unload the entire frig to find the leaky one, I recklessly dipped my pinkie into the unidentifiable dribble and gave it a good lick to identify which container was at fault.  I can only say that next time I put out a fresh offering of lovely Smoothie made of chicken soup and Friskies Mixed Grill for those ungrateful beasts who share my house and my life, and they spurn it with cast up eyes and wrinkled noses and I scream, "You ingrates, that is delicious stuff,"  I will not just be flapping my gums.....I will be talking from experience.

Well, I wouldn't serve it to company, but it actually wasn't at all bad.........I think I have had worse in some restaurants......

You can tell from the fact that I have chosen the above minor incident to star in today's blog, that life here is rather uneventful and my best bloggyness is still hiding.  Most of my time lately has been devoted to trying not to fall down and trying desperately to introduce a 3rd female cat into a house ruled by 2 other spoiled rotten female cats.  In all fairness to Gussie and Winnie, they are  behaving like real menches while the new little one has the deplorable manners of an alley cat.  I am occasionally a bit cheered when a few hours go by without hearing any spitting, hissing or growling or the strange trilling sound she makes when she just wants to remind everyone that she is not a cat to be messed with. 

I am ashamed to say that I still have not settled on a name for the new arrival..........I usually name my cats after some ancestor or other but I have used up most of those names by now and also she just doesn't look like a Blumenthal......in fact I am afraid she is a shixa....(I am not prejudiced) but she should not go through life under false colors.........definitely not a Sarah or Fanny or Lena.  I have tried out dozens of names to see how they feel rolling off the tongue and still don't have the right one yet.  I began with Geegee (for Growling Girl), quickly skipped to Sugar (too bland) even tried Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Green-eyed, Gray Haired Young Catini..........obviously too long even when shortened to Bitsy.  I dunno.......the right one will come to me and fortunately it doesn't seem to matter what I call her,  because when I do call her she ignores me no matter what the name.
I would welcome any suggestions, but I do not promise to use them unless it really works for both of us.

Well, here I sit rather listlessly on a Sunday morning, waiting for the Super Bowl to begin in a few hours (no, I do not watch those endless hours of pre-game hype....... I may occasionally eat cat food but I do have some standards) and am hoping it will be a good one and will dispel this strange ennui which sits heavily upon me today.  In the meantime I have hummingbird feeders to fill, birds and squirrels to feed and a thousand objects in between to NOT trip over.  I guess you could say that I have my work cut out for me.

Results of the "Chicken/Road" Contest

The wonderful Anna Leffler of   http://lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com/

has published the results of her "contest for answers to the  question, "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road"?

Actually I misinterpreted things a bit....it was not that kind of contest.....no winners....it was more like a challenge......... so if you were expecting me to win, please don't be disappointed:   I am definitely not disappointed....I  would never have produced my own little masterpiece were it not for Anna and her challenge and I am infinitely pleased with myself over my entry. 

I just read all the wonderful,,,yea even incredible......entries (mine included) and was impressed and tickled beyond belief.  All I can say is that we bloggers  are definitely of a superior race.

Here is the link to Anna Leflers blog with  all the entries:

http://lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com/2011/01/big-chicken-link-reveal.html



and below is what was my humble offering.....

ENJOY !

                                     *********************************************************

Hmmmm.........Why DID the chicken cross the road?  

The question appears to be deceptively simple but is actually enormously complex
and could have a myriad of causes not the least of which might be SEX.

So now we must ask whether the chicken was a rooster or a hen
Because everyone knows that the male and female of the species are apt to behave very differently when,

For one reason or another, their libido is aroused or shall we say tickled,
and also we have to determine whether or not the bird in question might have been even slightly pickled;

Because liquor can make even the most straight laced and demure little hen into an lascivious hussy        

who would not be feeling the least bit fussy,

And might go far out of her way
for what is vulgarly known as a roll in the hay.

While everyone knows that no self respecting rooster
is apt to need any booze as a booster.

When sighting a hen
With a yen

Across the road........

So ends Reason #1 of my Ode.

  (with love and thanks to Ogden Nash)

 

Photo Day

Hello, hello, hello, my darlings.  Just checking in with a word or two and, hopefully, a pic or two.

My beloved cousin, Jen, who has schlepped down from Portland many times over the past year to save my life in one way or another is here once again to help me get organized (!).  One of the things on our lists was trying to download a batch of fabulous photos of my raccoons so I can thrill you with some of them.  This is not the moment for a long story so I will merely say that we had both failed miserably with this task the last time she was here.....you could call it a standoff between the download software and us.......that means the software won and refused to function leaving me on the verge of trekking to the store and having someone download the pics onto a disk for me.  Magically, however, she got it to working last nite and I can now attempt to upload a few for your enjoyment.

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille

Get in line.

Are ya'  lookin' at ME?

In the next  2 we see Monsieur Raccoon choosing his next delectable morsel of kitty kibble from the bowl while his sibling has a drink.

That is all you get for now.......I promise to post more later.  Right now Jen and I must rush off to Petco and pick up Pink mesh harness for the new kitty......she ain't going out without having me on the other end of the string,

I Can't Believe It----I Have Entered a Blog Contest

The wonderful Anna Leffler of  

http://lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com/

has proposed a contest with the challenge being the best answer to the ever intriguing question, "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road"?

 Don't ask me why this made me catch fire, but ignite me it did and I simply had to tap out an entry with my answer.  Frankly no one will be more puzzled by my choice of answers than I am and, similarly, no one will be more surprised than I am at the form in which I chose to present my entry.

This was truly one of those cases in which the Muse took over the controls and the seized the use of my fingers and keyboard and only let me see what I had written after it was finished.  This has happened to me a number of times in my writing "career" and it never ceases to amaze and delight me.  Consequently, I was thrilled and delighted with my entry and wish I could say that the fully conscious "I"  had written it.  However, if I win I will  not hesitate to take full credit for it.

I am not going to reveal my entry until after the contest closes on Friday sometime, but I encourage all of you brilliant, charming and amusing folks to go to the above link and enter the contest too.  I welcome competition.  (I think that is a bare-faced lie, but I want Anna's contest to be a smashing success......... she deserves it.) so get out of here at once (after you leave a comment, of course) and go compete!

Adventures of the Other Kind

I learned a very interesting and sobering thing today......Life's adventures are not all fun and games........beside the joyous, memorable, inspiring, frothy and glittery ones there can be those offering dark challenges  and involving a lot of  pain and suffering.  Yet,  these episodes which somberly decorate the landscape of our life's path ARE adventures too.......just of a different kind.   And, of course, if you have been hanging around me for any length of time you know that I am going to add the fact that they always have the most precious  lessons attached, whether we are ready to learn them or not.

Today's lesson:  NO GOOD DEED GOES  UNPUNISHED !

(I thought I already knew that......sob......how many more times, Lois?)
                                                                           

For instance, many of you may be aware that I recently defied my sensible side (I don't know about  you other Astro signs, but Gemini's have 2 opposing halves, one may be  sweet, civilized and sensible while the other is raucous, uncouth, unmanageable, occasionally dangerous to one's self and others  and quite obviously Batshit Crazy (thanks, Mary Moon)........well, as I was saying, one day 2 weeks ago when I wasn't paying attention I seem to have  allowed myself to adopt  this here new homeless, needy kitty.  Suffice it to say, the very last thing a tottering,schlepedicka  old Cat Lady needs, really, is another cat.   Never mind......that logic belongs in the world of sanity wherein I obviously no longer dwell.

Having spent the past 2 weeks rushing around closing some cats into some rooms while encouraging other cats into different rooms.......then reversing the procedure, juggling innumerable food dishes and kitty boxes into places they have never been  before and shouting useless commands like, "No, no, don't you spit at her!,  Stop growling you silly cat!. I'm telling you, she won't hurt you, why don't you believe me?  (and most importantly)  Lois, now is the perfect moment to commit yourself to the funny farm!?", I am merely a tattered remnant of my former self.

Not only do I find myself  tenderly hand feeding this weak and frail little creature as she lounges in my bed, but I have finally allowed myself to realize that, despite my current somewhat anemic finances, what is really needed here is a trip to the Vet.  And what THAT means, aside from the horror of ending up having to administer the dreaded pills and droppers of liquid meds, is my complete and utter mpoverishment.   Antibiotics, subcutaneous fluids, Xrays, Blood Tests, heat treatments, coldpacks and no doubt psychotherapy........... I see the remains of my vast fortune,which was somehow not totally decimated by all my previous cats, disappearing down the gullet of this little gray waif who, even as we speak, is no doubt waiting impatiently for me to appear and hold under her chin  her 8pm Smoothie  (Friskies' Mixed Grill blended with homemade chicken broth to just the right sipping/lapping consistency).

Lest you think that I exaggerate, I must tell you that I have just returned from Vet Visit #1 clutching the dreaded antibiotic and a receipt for a down payment on the National Debt.  Poor baby has an undetermined infection, a fever over 105 and  was badly dehydrated before receiving subcutaneous fluids and a shot of antibiotics.........................

Does anyone doubt that psychotherapy lurks very far behind?  The question is.......
for whom.....her or me?

Guess Who Is #1 in Guinness Book of Klutzes

It's no contest, really.  (You may THINK you are a bigger klutz than I am, but I don't really want to fight about it so please, just acknowledge my greatness in the klutz department and let's move on). 

I started honing my klutzy skills as a child, dropped out of the race for a number of middle years and now seem to be perfecting my technique in my decrepitude.  I am not bragging about this, you understand, just recognizing and accepting it.

As a child my claim to the title rested on simply falling down a lot,  often from standing on my own foot and then trying to pick up the bottom foot to walk, but also tripping over twigs, pebbles or cracks in the pavement.  When I grew  my great boobs my talents expanded to feats like catching my dress or shirt on the  protruding bolts  holding the ping pong table net in place, thereby rending asunder my garments with great regularity.    Until I learned to allow for the protrusions I hardly owned any clothing which had not been darned or otherwise mended from such encounters, much to my poor Mamma's grief and horror.   

Then when I lost 50 lbs. and stopped bumping into so many things the plague went into a state of remission, I guess.   I remained somewhat accident prone but things took on a much more sophisticated quality as I learned to use tools .......I think the epitome was reached when I managed to nail my finger to the picture frame I was building........lesson: never hold the piece of wood with your fingers behind the place where you are hitting the nail with the hammer.  

It is a small miracle that I survived all those years of using power tools and building stuff while still keeping all fingers and toes and minor limbs attached to my body.  God was good to me and my Guardian Angels must have worked overtime.  . However, after the past few days I think the plague is returning.  I have been behaving like my left foot is attached to my right leg and vice versa.  This is beyond klutzy.  A few days ago I was trying to put on a stretchy velcro knee brace and pulled so hard to stretch the flap that I pulled my foot off the chair it was resting on thereby knocking over the chair and myself in the process.  Only bruises, tenks gott, but very unsettling (no pun intended).

Before continuing I must explain that one of my many weird habits is to keep my purse (very large with 2 carrying straps) on the floor under the dining table where I live for a good part of the day since that is where the laptop resides.)  Consequently, I should at all times be very careful to ensure that it is tucked safely under the table without protruding enticingly to tempt disaster.  Well, of course, I don't, so there have been many awkward encounters, but none as great as last nite when I rose from my chair to let a cat in or out or fetch some delicacy from the kitchen or something and somehow managed to step into the jaws of the purse which then wrapped it's straps around my leg and anchored me to the floor on the left side.  Meanwhile, my right leg was still merrily making it's way to the other room.  Both dining chairs went over in this one and I found myself in my old familiar position of shame.....in a shambles and general state of disarray on the floor with several cats peering down at me with puzzled expressions.  Careful counting elicited the info that I still had all my body parts attached, no one was bleeding and nothing seemed to be broken, sprained or otherwise mangled.  Sigh.  

This is obviously very dangerous and must be solved at once.....migawd I could have fallen on a cat and killed it.  I had better go into the rubber room to ponder..........I love to solve problems, but this one may not be so easy..............


P.S. On another subject entirely:

To my new follower, Shirley, who made me faint with joy when she said she went back and read every one of my blogs (wow) your comment yesterday has no ID so I do not know how to thank you privately......therefore you must endure this public gratitude and/or embarrassment and humiliation......Thank you!


And, while I am on the subject......., to all my dear followers whose affection and loyalty I appreciate and treasure.........thank you , dear ones from the bottom of my heart....you light up my life!